Malfoy Family Traitor
by inxthexlandxofxdead
Summary: The Malfoy's have always prided themselves on their relationship with the dark lord and his army. They, of course, have always been loyal followers. However that was all jeopardised the day Holly Malfoy boarded a muggle train rather then the Hogwarts express and vanished from her family. Now she has been captured and returned, how will this effect the Malfoy name?
1. Chapter 1

My back slams against the brickwork, ridding the air from my lungs and causing my ribs to shudder in pain. I gasp for breath, hoping to catch some of the escaped wind though it does not return.

"Four Years" Lucius Malfoy yells at me from across the room. His wand raised in my direction with a glow of silver streaming from the blond haired death eater to my neck.

"Lucius" Narcissa pipes from the sideline of this one sided battle, which I was in no way winning. "Put her down" she demanded, a hint of sympathy playing in her tone. I wonder if she means it at all, or if something in me reminded her of her golden son, a trait she needed to protect.

The curse pulls away, allowing me to drop to the ground; I had once hovered over, in a ball of black cloak. I claw at my throat as though that would heal the slashes that marked my flesh, it doesn't.

"Do you know what you have done, Holly?" Lucius continues, his tone laced with rage. He places his wand back into his cane, talking down to me as he paced back and forth before me.  
"Please. Enlighten me" I croak, the sarcasm had not been rid from me despite the beating.

Lucius shot me a foul look of pure disgust. "Do you know how Narcissa, Draco and I have been perceived due to your childish behavior? To have myself, a highly regarded death eater, looked down upon because he's good for nothing daughter decided to run away with the muggles" his voice poured acid as he spoke. If I had feared my father, I would be a sobbing, shaking mess.

"You-" I didn't get to finish, he silenced me with his continuous lecture.

"Draco and you were meant to board the Hogwarts Express that day and instead I find you've hopped on another train and simply left" he waves his hand around, giving his words a show, like a half hearted contemporary dance. "Not a trace of you to be found. Do you know how your actions made all of us look?" I felt the hatred burning into my skin. He had the effect of a Dementor on ones emotions.

I could not contain myself "And yet, you are still completely unaware as to why i left in the first place" I try to mimic his acidic voice, but i fail.

"No one will know" he yelled at me, threatening to raise his wand causes me to shrink into the hardwood floor. "We will stick to the story created" he pauses and looks at my mother, her eyebrows lifting in agreement. "You went to Beauxbatons because we believed it to be a better school for a girl" that sounded like an insult "and you've returned in preparation for the dark lords return" he touches the mark on his arm.

"No" I yell, he doesn't stop.

"You will go to Hogwarts with your brother, so I know you won't escape..." a large Deatheater, Cane, walked through the door as he spoke, His physique that of a muggle bodybuilder. "This time, Holly Bellatrix Malfoy, you will make the train" With a swoop of his cloak Lucius left the room, Narcissa close behind like they were attached by a strong magnet.

I swallow hard and slump my shoulders, unaware how stiff they were.

"C'mon" Cane grumbles, bending down and crushing my forearm in his oversized hands. He had been the one who found me, he was the one who dragged me back home yet I was still not used to the vice-like grip he had.

"Where are you taking me?" I sound childish, no longer full of confidence.

"Shut up" he warns.

I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath as Cane's heavy hand crushes my shoulder.

We stood at kingscross station watching the hogwarts students run into the wall, trying to reach platform 9 ¾. I had yet to see Draco since being forcefully returned home, word was that he was with his minions over the break.  
After my fight with Lucius, I was taken to my childhood room, locked up and watched by my vulture/guard Cane. I hadn't left my room for over three weeks, hadn't seen sunlight besides the small rays that were allowed through my bedroom window, hadn't breathed air that wasn't warm and dusty.

I had been given Draco's books from his 1st, 2nd and 3rd years at Hogwarts, they had kept me company during those boring days. I had missed three years of school, the most crucial years, the time when you learnt houses, met students, teacher and friends. It was a rare occurrence to start Hogwarts late, in fact unheard of. I am sure the headmaster would not have allowed it if Professor Snape hadn't been at Lucius's call. I should learn not to underestimate my father's abilities.  
"Got ya stuff?" Cane questioned with his deep voice.  
I looked down at the luggage before me, my wand in my pocket where it had stayed since I had abandoned my first year, years before. "I guess so" I replied, with that childlike voice that had found its way into me, before being pushed through the wall, onto platform 9 ¾

I looked up at the marvelous train, tucking my golden curls behind my ears as though to get a better view. My grey eyes scanning the Hogwarts express, getting a glimpse of the life I had given up. "Malfoy" the deep voice groaned. I tore my eyes from the train to Cane. "Get" he pointed his large head at the train.

I left my luggage at his side, knowing that he would take care of it. Stepping up onto the train was like stepping into a foreign country, children ran through the carriage chasing one another already in their house robes. I looked down at my jumper and jeans and knew immediately I was out of place.

I looked into open door to see a boy seated alone. I swallowed, hoping to relax myself even a little. "Excuse me" I muttered causing him to jump a little in his robes, he looked up at me dark eyes curious. "Do you mind?" I motioned to the seat across from him.

"No. No not at all" he fidgeted in his chair placing a cactus looking plant to the side so he could put his entwined hands on his lap.

"Thank you" I mumbled, stepping over his bag and sitting by the window.

"Sorry about that" he apologized for the mess.

"No problem" I smiled at him. His dark hair falling over his eyebrows in a messy heap, his chin showing a slight shade of beard greeting him with age, he was a good looking boy, not that I had ever considered someone as such and it was strange that I was now.

"I haven't seen you here before, surely you can't be a first year" he paused, stifling a laugh. "Unless your part troll, which you definitely don't look" there was a nervous smile on his face and he fiddled with his hands.

I giggled, partially trying to make him feel better and partially, well, I don't know. "No I'm a fourth year, not a troll" I smile.

"No way, I'm a fourth year as well" he smiled. "How come I haven't met you before?"

I gulped, my father's story would be regrettably used. "I went to Beauxbatons, but my family moved and Hogwarts just seemed-" i had to think, "more appropriate".

"Fair enough. Well i'm Neville Longbottom" he held out his hand for me to shake, not questioning my story further.

I smiled softly "Holly" I didn't need him to hear my last name. I was sure he knew Draco and I'm sure the last name had played it haunting game on this boy.

"So do you know which house you are in?" he cleared his throat, obviously wanting to continue the conversation.  
"No, I have to be sorted" I wiped my hands on my jeans, unaware they were sweaty, truly showing my nervousness.

"Don't worry it's not as bad as it seems" he smiled warmly.


	2. Chapter 2

The train had come to a stop and I realised how much I really didn't want it to, I liked talking to Neville, and I guess I liked Neville. Having grown up most my life around my family it was so easy to imagine that there was no such thing as a nice witch or wizard, Neville was sitting before me proving me wrong.

I had found out so much about him on this quick train ride, that I felt like I had known him my entire life, a bond I didn't want to let go of by stepping of this train.

"You'll be fine" he mumbled placing his hand on my own. I knew it felt natural at the time he did it, but the way he withdrew his hand made me think that it was an unnatural gesture for him to make. Our cheeks turned a rose hue and we turned our heads to the halls of the Hogwarts express, children running wildly.

"I, I guess I'll see you around?" a stuttered question left Neville's mouth.

I smiled watching him stand and collect his small belongings, "I'd like that" I whispered softly, nervousness grabbing at my words.

He gave me a toothy grin and fled the compartment with a slight stumble making me giggle. There was a knock on the window from the outside of the train that turned my happy mood into a completely different feeling that only Severus Snape could emit.

We didn't have anything to say to one another as we walked the castle halls, quiet as the other students attended the banquet. I could hear Snape's breathing and had no doubt he could hear mine.

We paused at a gargoyle and he repeated the name of an infamous chocolate. It was a strange code to protect the world from Dumbledore's office, and it was even stranger to hear Severus saying such a desert.

"In" he pushed me onto the step that spiralled up into the ceiling.

Dumbledore's office was warm, I felt flustered in the heavy clothing I wore, though I was not sure if it was actually heat related or if nerves left me sweating.

Snape paced before me, obviously impatient at Dumbledore's tardiness. He seemed less than thrilled about babysitting another of lucius Malfoys children and I did not blame him for a moment. Draco and i were so different despite growing up under the same house and being twins. Sure we had the same light hair, pale skin and malicious parents, yet our paths met that fork in the road long before we could walk and snape would not know that for a second. I was a Malfoy and that's all he needed to know to hate me.

"Where is he?" snape asked as though i would know the answer.

"Calm down Severus" a voice filled the office, making my bones jump in my flesh. I had only heard snape's disapproving groans and the chirps of a phoenix for the past half hour, a voice was not on the agenda. I looked over to see the headmaster approaching me, his grey hair entwined with his beard.

"Holly Bellatrix Malfoy, I presume" he said walking past us to a torn and beaten hat on top of a cupboard.

"Just Holly" I replied, hating my family name and the addition of my aunt Bellatrix being thrown into the mix.

"Ahh, but of course" he nodded a smile creeping on his face, grasping the hat in his frail hands. "Your brother always makes a note of his last name, yet you" he turned to me, playful light in his eyes. "Dislike it?".

Snape had turned to me, interested in my answer. "It is a tainted name" I replied, finding a spot on a Persian rug to stare at, allowing me to not make contact with my headmaster or professor.

"Well, there is always someone who can change the meaning of a name" he smiled handing me the hat. "Remember that".

"On your head" Snape demanded, wanting this small meeting to be over.

I looked at the sorting hat, mentioned by Neville on the train, and reluctantly placed it soft fabric on my head, crushing my golden curls.

The hat seemed to yawn, waking itself from slumber. It had obviously not sorted the first years yet. "Well, well if it isnt a Malfoy" the hat noted, making me tense. "ooh dont like that name do you?" he questioned. It was obvious i didnt need to answer.

"Well i remember sorting your brother, it was easy, very easy. You on the other hand are quite difficult, yes" he paused, searching my brain.

"You are kind, I see that, Gentle, that too. Clever and brave, you have stood up to many dark wizards. yet there is something that is telling me, slytherin should be your house" he paused.

"Because I want it to be" I answered, with a release of a breath. Snape looked at me, seemingly curious, dumbledore too, unaware as to why I would want this. "My father despises me, My mother and brother too. Being placed in Slytherin will give them some kind of hope that I am not a failure to the Malfoy name. I will be able to have more freedom this way, why question my motives if the sorting hat has placed me in the house that once belonged to he-who-must-not-be-named?" I answered truthfully.

Dumbledore nodded his head. "Very well thought out, but are you sure that is what you want?" The headmaster asked.

"Not really, but the heart defines the person" I smile half-heartedly, "Not the house".

"Very well" the hat replied. "Slytherin"


	3. Chapter 3

I pulled the robe over my shoulders and let the black fabric fall to my knees, hugging my hips. My grey pleated skirt and white shirt were neatly pressed, though the green and silver tie and slytherin crest made the entire outfit look messy.

I looked in the mirror, and for the first time since childhood, I felt like a Malfoy. I turned my head away in disgust, feeling a lump of sadness rising in my dry throat.

"Hurry up, I haven't got all day" the man's voice sounded from behind me. I raised my shaking hands to wipe away a lone tear rolling down my cheek.

I spun around and looked at the bloody baron standing in the doorway, a look of impatience playing on his dead face. He had been asked by Dumbledore to give me a quick tour of the school, as the other students were in the Great hall feasting. The ghost and I were given a short time frame for this sightseeing occasion; Dumbledore had made it clear I was to return to the great hall in time for speeches. I had nodded and left with my see through guide.

I now stood in the Slytherin house bathrooms, seen all he was to show me. I had changed into my uniform and was to head to the Hall. The baron waiting to make sure I made it there.

"I'm sorry" I said, grabbing my wand off the basin and tucking it into my robe pocket. The ghost drifted through the door, gesturing me to follow him, I of course had to open the passageways not having the luxury of being dead.

I walked up the stairs, the journey to the great hall being too short for my liking, I'd prefer the ghosts company to the people I would soon get. "In there" He spoke, pointing at the large wooden doors.

"Thankyou" I mumbled, making the ghost eye me suspiciously. He was surely wondering how someone with manners, had been sorted,into Slytherin. Scared perhaps that I would say more courteous things, the Baron vanished from sight.

I took in a breath and bit hard on my bottom lip, almost breaking the skin. I was building up courage, trying to gather strength to walk through those doors. I wonder why it was so hard to do, maybe because I was certain Draco would be behind the timber. Curling my hands into fists at my side, I walked with a fake determination through the Great hall doors.

They opened, as I stepped in front of them, with a noise so loud that every student turned in their seats to catch a glimpse of the intruder.

"Ah just in time" Dumbledore spoke from the podium at the front of the room. "Please, take your seat" He directed me to the Slytherin table with a simple hand gesture, I followed his directions like a well drawn up map. "For all the curious students we have a new student joining us, her name is Holly. She is in her fourth year, please make her feel welcome" he continued.

I stopped at the end of the Gryffindor table for only a split second, catching the eyes of Neville Longbottom. As I expected, his eyes ran over my green lined uniform and then darted to the plate in front of him. I felt my heart pinch at this negative reaction. I bit down on my lip, obviously torturing it again, before hurrying to the Slytherin table and taking a seat on the end, avoiding everything and everyone I tried to fall into my own little bubble.

The welcoming of the new years went on; they were sorted and seated to applauses and cheers, something I had never experienced myself. Time went on and an announcement was made that had every student on the edge of their seats; the tri-wizard tournament.

I couldn't help but get a little caught up in the performances from both schools, feeling for a moment that I had already spent my life here at Hogwarts.

When the ceremony was finally over the crowd began to leave the halls following house prefects like perfect little children. I slowly followed behind, one of the last people trailing the flock of students.

Before I could even place a foot onto the ground outside the doorway, I felt his hands grab my collar. With an aggressive speed, he spun me around causing my hair to fly across my face. Then he slammed me against the brickwork like my father had done only weeks before. The pressure of the collision cleared my hair from my face and allowed me to see my brother, glaring back at me.

"I heard you were back, I hoped it was a lie" He spat between closed teeth.

"Thought you wanted an early birthday present" I choked, sarcasm my only defence.

This remark made him pull me towards him, so he could throw me back against the wall for a second time. "You sicken me" he yelled, "You made our family look weak. You made me look weak, all because I had to share a womb with you. They kept a close eye on me, making sure I would not betray our family like you did". That hurt me, more than the physical pain I was enduring, hearing my brother say those words.

I could feel that lump rising yet again in my throat "Let go of me" I shouted, drawing my wand from my pocket and aiming it towards him. He dropped me and reached for his own, leaving us standing in the deserted entrance in dual stances.

My hand shaking and I could not settle it, "Show her Draco" I heard the familiar voice of Goyle call out from behind my brother. I had not noticed at any point in our scuffle that a small crowd had gathered; A river of Slytherin silver and emerald.

I felt a single sweat bead form on my forehead as I thought of curses and hexes that I could use on him. Then I caught his eyes and there was something there.

I remembered falling down the stairs when I was seven, hitting my head on the banister and having my cries be hushed by my brother. He stood over me and placed his hand on my head where it hurt and told me that if I blinked three times, there would be no more pain. He was wrong of course, but then I believed him. I had listened to every word and suddenly it didn't hurt as badly.

I swallow hard and realise that I don't want to hurt him, so instead I beg him "Cast it Draco" my eyes becoming glassy with sadness. In all my rage and physical pain I had not felt the emotional pain that was surging within me. No one in their right mind would want to be in this situation with their family, and certainly not their twin, who had been through every life event as oneself.

A flash of death crossed his features. I could no longer handle it, "Just do it" I screamed, lowering my wand to my side and storming up to him, coming to a halt only when the tip of his wand touched the base of my neck. "You want to punish me, then do it" when I said this, an unmistakable hesitation glistened in his eyes. I could see that he too was unable to do it, unable to harm me even when I was offering him the chance to do just that.

"Enough" a voice broke the silence that had gathered between my the audience, Draco and myself.

Draco turned to the familiar face that had appeared, his brows raised in frustration, a tiny hint of thankfulness. "Longbottom" Draco hissed at Neville. "What right does a 'nobody' like you have, to tell me what to do?" He continued, trying to put Neville in place. At least the place Draco thought he belonged.

"Ju- Just let her go" Neville stuttered, trying to fix his frame to stand over Draco. His body language must have translated towards Draco, causing my brother to slink away from the Gryffindor.

"Whatever" my brother said turning back to me, "we'll finish this later" he warned before storming off. Even if I hadn't known Draco like I did, I still would have been able to see that relief that was brought to his face at Neville's appearance. He was the only thing that could have stopped the fight, because the Slytherin crowd would not have.

"Right" Neville said looking at me, avoiding the glares of the audience that was not entertained. There was a slight show of happiness of a victory playing on his features. It quickly vanished, as the sight of me settled in. He spun on his heels and walked towards the staircase, not wanting to say anything more.  
"Neville wait" I yelled, running after him. My rather small legs could not keep up with his long stride. "Please" I reached out to touch his arm, and the boy regrettably turned to face me. "Talk to me, please, we couldn't stop talking on the train" I noted, thinking how much a difference a few hours can make.  
"That was different" he defended his motives, searching the area around us to focus his attention on.  
"How?" I couldn't help but feel a little insulted.

"Well-" he paused. "y-you weren't a- a slytherin" he pointed at my robes.

His comment hurt, despite the fact I knew that it would be like this if I ended up in Slytherin. After all Neville was so sweet and my house had a bad reputation to uphold, "Why does it matter what house I'm in?"

"Well no offense but if you are in Slytherin, there is probably a reason" he said. "Everyone who gets put in that house deserves to be there. They are nasty, all of them".

"You think I'm like that?" I asked looking up at him, my eyes still tear glazed from draco, would not settle over Neville.

"I didn't" he whispered, catching my eyes for only a second before he hurried off to the Gryffindor tower.


	4. Chapter 4

I sat at the back of the classroom hoping to fall into the background and become obsolete. It had been six days since my run in with Draco and Neville and probably the same number of days since I had spoken.

Luckily classes and homework kept me busy, distracting me from my own world.

Professor Burbage stood before us holding a computer screen for all the students to see. Not many would know the uses in the muggle world, I was an exception. She had asked people to answer questions about it since we were on the topic of muggle inventions: communications. A wonderfully boring topic that perhaps was this way for me because I already knew its "magical uses", maybe someone in this room was in awe.

I had begun to draw pictures onto blank pages, nothing exciting; an owl, a rat, a toad, my quill drying up every few seconds. I was nudged in the side by a boy with red hair and Gryffindor attire, a Weasly I guessed by the bad mouthing from the Slytherin common room. He directed my attention to Professor Burbage who had obviously asked me a question that I had ignored.

"Oh" I fumbled my quill, "Sorry, what was the question?" I could feel people's eyes on me, the new girl.

Burbage raised the screen; it was obvious she was annoyed by my lack of interest. "What is the sole communication for a computer?" she repeated a little grumpy tone.

I felt a particularly cold stare rising from my left and when I looked over there it was obvious why, Draco sat his golden brows creased in rage. "To send Emails" I muttered turning away from my brother.

Professor Burbage, whom was previously grumpy, lit up, "Yes" she exclaimed before continuing on with her lesson.

I dipped my quill in ink and in cursive wrote "thanks" on the top page before directing the Weasly's attention to my message. He was taken aback, turned a lighter shade of pale and averted his eyes from me. I couldn't help tracing my fingertips over the emerald colours on my robe.

Class had ended and we walked out into the crisp air, I hugged my books tightly against my chest and fell away from the crowd. I didn't have anyone I wanted to chase down and 'gossip' with. I didn't have any reason to haunt someone into giving me their homework for the next period. No, I had nothing to do.

"Couldn't have toned down the Muggle?" I heard the acidic filled tone burn from behind me and when I turned Draco knocked the books out of my hand, to the floor in a paper heap.

"Really?" I snapped at him bending down to regather my pages as he walked away, laughing with Crabbe and Goyle.

"Here" the weasly knelt down and helped me gather my work, "Don't worry about Malfoy, he's a twat" he added, still unsure if he should be talking to me, a Slytherin.

I couldn't help but smile, "That's an understatement" I laughed and he joined me. A boy and a girl caught up to the two of us, I immediately knew the boy, Harry Potter but the girls name escaped me. She was in all my classes, always deeply involved in the lectures and her name had been said many times but now, I was drawing a blank.

"I'm Ron" he held out a hand for me to shake, "That's Harry and Hermione" he added as we stood.

"Nice to meet you" I drew another smile and they all went that ghost white 'why is a Slytherin talking to us' colour.

"You too" they coughed out in unison.

"Malfoy" a voice rang behind me and I couldn't help but turn to meet it. Snape stood there in his own dark shadow and begged me over to him, without saying anything. I turned back to the three Gryffindor's who had impossibly gone a shade whiter. I didn't say anything to them to justify it, I just walked over to Snape.

"What?" I asked grumpily.

"I don't care what tone you use with your other Professors, though be sure that I do not want to hear it used on me" he growled.

"What do YOU want?" I said in a sarcastic filled chirpy voice, immediately seeing that the potions professor did not care for it.

"I would take points off Slytherin, but you wouldn't care and it would make me look bad" he noted holding out his hand to pass me a letter. "See to it that you get an Owl that is not recognisably a Malfoy owl, since your father does not want to publicly send you mail" he warned before turning away and leaving me there with a wrinkled letter and books that no longer were in order.

* * *

I sat on my made bed and stared absent minded at the letter I had received. A little worried to open it and reveal the harsh words of Lucius Malfoy that no doubt would be inside. I had to take a deep breath in and then just tear it open:

_Slytherin, I guess there is some hope for you..._

Was all that was written within, I wondered why it had taken so long for him to send it to me? Why hadn't he Owled it on the day after my sorting?

I scrunched up the paper and threw it to the floor, allowing it to roll under my roommate's bed. Some idiotic girl name Kyra Henrikson, who was very openly a Draco admirer.

I stood up from my bed, slipped my shoes on and walked.

For the first time since being here I knew where I wanted to go, I pushed open the door of the Slytherin Common room, causing a passing first year to leap out of the way, scared of the fourth year.

I took the steps, in long lunges, if I had not known my petite size; I might have sworn I was taller in this moment.

The castle entrance was filled with students, seated and chatting in their free period. I walked out the entrance doors into the sunlight. The cobble path felt unsteady under my shoes as I bounced down the stairs, heading for what I now knew was the black lake.

There was a boy and girl kissing under the shade of a pine tree, a Beauxbatons and a Hufflepuff, i ignored them and hurried down, closer to the dark water. Maybe it was because I had seen him there before, or maybe it was because of the stupid cactus that he had on the train, that made me know Neville was beside the lake looking at the water plants.

"Hey" I shouted. Surprised he almost lost his balance as he was crouched over the water's surface. He turned to look at me, his eyes widening in fear, the crazy girl was here to torture him. "Ok, so" I started as he stood to listen to what I might have to say. "You were right. Slytherin people suck".

"Alright..." Neville squeaked, unsure of where this is going.

"My roommates talk about hexing a first year, so whenever she sneezes, her hair falls out. Every time she gets it fixed in the hospital wing, they just redo the hex" I confess, not making much sense to myself, wonder how the boy before me felt.

"Holly..." Neville mumbled.

I didn't let his voice detour me from my apparent goal. "My name is Holly Malfoy. I am Draco's sister, but I am nothing like him" I stepped a little bit forward, laying everything out before him.

"You- you are a Malfoy?" he stuttered, shock lacing his voice.

"Not by choice" I laugh, "But Slytherin was my choice. I wanted to be in that stupid house so my father didn't hate me anymore than he already does. I wanted him off my back" I stepped forward again, closing the gap between Neville and me.

"You chose Slytherin?" he asked, baffled. "Why? Why are you even telling me this?" as he asked the question, I became more sure then I had been.

"Because I loved our conversation on the train" I seemed to have raised my voice to a yell that I couldn't control, to turn it down. "I loved how we just clicked and I know that's crazy" I paused, "But I've never had a friend and I have never wanted someone in my life as much as I want you in it".

He was speechless.

"So I'm asking, if you can get past the house I'm in and the name, I'd really like to be your friend" maybe it was me rebelling against my father, after all he had written a small compliment (or at least what he perceived as a compliment) so maybe it was me being an angst riddled teen. The only thing I know for certain is that deep inside me, seeing this boy, feels right.

He looked down at the plant in his hand, thinking. "I guess I can" he smiled back at me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: So I'm trying to follow the actual HP story line as best as possible, but please remember I am clearly no J.K Rowling so things will not match. I also got a request to make chapters longer, which I am trying I promise :). Thanks for reading, any notes or requests are most welcome**

* * *

"I just don't understand" Neville said, his voice soft and I could hear a hint of worry rising in him. We had attended the Tri-wizard announcement on who would be competing and none other than Harry Potter was drawn.

Whilst the others seemed to quietly riot amongst themselves in the castle, Neville and I sat in the grounds to put the pieces together, only accompanied by those who didn't care.

"I don't know Harry well, but it sure seemed like he wasn't too keen on being a contestant" I crossed my legs on the bench, facing Neville, making sure my skirt covered any holes that might reveal my more private self, I didn't want to flash the poor boy.

Neville nodded, taking in a quick glance of my legs, before blushing and turning away. "No. N-no Harry wouldn't have" he noted with a slight stutter.

"He will be fine" I reassured him, knowing this was the right audience to bring hope to, Slytherin on the other hand would destroy me for suggesting such a thing.

He looked into my eyes, really looked "I believe that" he whispered and something stirred in me. My stomach became heavy, but my chest became light. My mouth went dry and I could feel my neck grow warm with heat. I had never felt anything like this before and I so desperately wanted to kiss Neville Longbottom.

We had spent the last few days together, talking, telling stories, laughing like we had on the train and it was all coming so natural to us, it was not hard to fall in 'like' with him. Sure enough I was.

His lips parted, relaxing on his face and I wondered what was going through his mind, then I could hear it, my fathers' voice calling me a disappointment.

I blinked my gaze away from him. "I should go" I looked up at the night sky, "I have homework, I need to finish" that was the truth, though it was not due for two days.

"Yeah" Neville stood and lowered his hand for mine, wanting to help me up. I immediately felt the warmth of his skin against my fingers and palm, as he pulled me toward him.

"Thanks Neville" I smiled warmly, "Goodnight" it was hard to let go of his hand, yet I had to do just that.

* * *

I sat in the dark green chair with a potions book sprawled across my lap, not feeling tired I thought it was best to study and the roommates I was unfortunately paired with made it impossible to do in their company. It was all boys this, hexes that, and it left me annoyed.

I started the next chapter: Pixie wings, when a clearing of the throat interrupted my reading. "Well, well" I heard Draco say. I looked up, any cheer I had retained from Neville vanishing at the sight of him and his brainless buddies, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, who I had known since we were children and had never looked more hideous then they did now.

"What Draco?" I snapped at my twin, slamming my potions book closed. Surely I wouldn't get any reading done with him around.

"Crabbe. Goyle" he started to his 4th year henchmen, "Leave" Draco warned and the two did just that, looks of confusion playing on their fat faces. Draco stepped forward, watching me carefully, before taking a seat across from me. "I saw you with Longbottom, by the lake" a hint of disgust leaving his mouth as he spoke Neville's name.

"What does it matter to you?" my face trying to mimic his repulsion. I imagine we would have been a sight, two Malfoy's glaring each other down.

Draco raised his hand and threw a scrunched up parchment towards me, landing at my feet in a soft roll. "Kyra found this under her bed. Thought I might be interested" he pointed to the paper. "Have to say it was quiet the read" he added.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend" I mocked "or that you could read. You're full of surprises".

"Very funny, But you think I'd date that troll?" he laughed, almost like he did when we were children. He noticed this as well and pulled himself out of it. "You are already in fathers bad books, stay away from that waste of a wizard".

"Why is it so important to you how father sees me?" i questioned. Not wanting to dwell on the subject of Draco's hatred for Neville.

My brother paused and looked at me; he was racking his brain for a suitable answer. "Because it reflects badly on me" he stated, finding one that would not make him look weak.

"You sound like him" I whispered. "You never did when we were kids" as I spoke memories of the past flashed in Draco's eyes. "Guess you were tainted by the Malfoy charm".

"What do you know?" he hissed, "I've always been me, maybe it's you who is hiding behind an image"

"Please" I rolled my eyes. "Like when you accidently cast a spell that caused our owl to lose his feathers, making him incapable of flight-"

"Stop" Draco yelled standing to his feet as he realised where I was headed with my words.

"-You cried for a month-" He tried to silence me with his now raised wand, but I continued, fearless.

"Stop it" he yelled again.

"-Because dad used the killing curse rather than allowing you to keep it and heal it" as I finished my terrible story, I noticed a loan tear gather on Draco's white lashes. I don't know why I brought up that horrible memory, maybe because it reminded me of how close we once were, or maybe it was to punish Draco for not staying sweet and innocent, not fighting for himself.

I had stayed with him that month, held my saddened brother in my arms and told him it wasn't his fault that it was an accident; look at how different it was now.

"You sicken me" he snapped. "You left me with them, because you were afraid you'd turn out like him, like father? Well you are worse, because he would never choose to abandon me like you did. He loves me, like you never will be loved" he withdrew his wand. "So don't you dare think you are better than me, for getting out, because look at you now, without a family and without anything but Longbottom. You haven't grown like I have, I am not that stupid boy with a stupid featherless owl anymore" he shouted at me.

I stood and looked into his broken eyes; I was smaller than him though it was clear I intimidated him. "No" I muttered, looking over my shoulder at Crabbe and Goyle who had rushed to their owner's aid, "look at you now".


	6. Chapter 6

***Authors Note: Thanks for the note _Gaia-Sama, _I know Holly may seem a little weak, but don't worry, she'll get her Malfoy Makeover in due time :) keep the comments coming people - thanks for reading 3***

* * *

I woke up to the chanting of "Harry Potter won't survive, because Potter's a wimp of a guy" Not sure who had come up with the phrasing, it was atrocious in the lyrical sense.

"Hurry up Malfoy" Kyra spat chucking a green badge onto my sheets that had a picture of harry with 'potter stinks' written in a slime type font, expecting me to wear that monstrosity.

"You go on without me" I mumbled sitting up on my bed. I hadn't become 'friendly' with any of my roommates but something about the possible doom of Harry Potter made everyone want to frolic together, Nothing like the Slytherins I had come to know and hate.

Once the room was quiet I began to get dressed, throwing on a pair of tight denim jeans and a close hugging v-neck sweater. Looking into the mirror, I saw my mother's daughter looking back. Sure Narcissa had picked the outfit, but there was something inside of me that was different, something that was more Malfoy then I had remembered, and I turned away.

Slinging the green and silver scarf around my neck, I left the reflection. The common room was empty, tainted by streamers and confetti, like a coming of age party was thrown.

Draco stood at the door to the dungeon blocking me from exiting. He had a blank expression, nothing to suggest any emotion in him. "Here" he mumbled, extending his arm and passing me a letter, marked with Lucius's scrawl. As soon as I accepted it he turned and left.

"Hey" I ran after him, trying to keep up with him. It was clear he had sucked the growth gene out of the womb we shared.

"What?" he was still rather toneless but that Malfoy hiss was creeping up.

"Where's your two henchmen" I laughed, nudging him playfully. We had been involved in a shouting match not long before and my guilty conscious was eating at me.

Draco moved out of my reach, "Do you have to?" he growled allowing the Malfoy to overtake him.

"No" I shrugged, "Don't you want to know what it says?" I held up the note. "If you're lucky, it's a death threat" A smile played on his face and he wiped it off quickly.

He turned to me, his dark robe flying with him as he spun, "Stop trying to make me like you, I don't like anyone" he noted, "And you sure as hell are at the bottom of my hate list. Things will never be like they used to, I'm not a child anymore and just because you didn't want to be a Malfoy, doesn't mean I felt the same. I am a Malfoy, and Malfoy's do not associate with scum. Which you and Longbottom happen to be" those words froze me to concrete beneath me, allowing my brother to walk away from us.

I felt my eyes tingle and I knew it was tears gathering. I shook my head, hoping to rid them and looked down at the note. I needed a distraction and maybe reading my father's insults would suffice: There was not writing just a photo of us as kids, we would have been eight. The photo wasn't particularly 'family-esque', we looked more like a heavy metal band being threatened at gunpoint to pose. Besides that, I could see Draco's eyes on mine and they were bright. Not like they are now.

I folded the document and slid it into my pocket, wondering if Lucius had even sent that. It was too warm for his doing.

* * *

The castle grounds were covered by a layer of students all anticipating the first event, I looked over to see Neville, close by, joined by two Gryffindor, a girl with long red hair and a boy shorter than both, I didn't know either of them by name.

I turned my view away from him and looked for the boy with my matching hair colour, it was sure to stand out in the crowd and I was right, he was there with his minions, no surprise.

I felt someone's hands cover my eyes, "guess who" they whispered in my ear. I knew the voice to be Neville's and there was really no one else that would play that game with me.  
"Professor Dumbledore?" I questioned with a laugh turning around to see the guy that had become my closest friend.

Neville laughed, "Ginny told me to do that, she said it would be cute. Really it was just a little awkward" he laughed, "N-Not because of you. Sweaty hands" he smiled nervously, holding his glistening palms up for me to see.

"It was very sweet" I smiled up at him, "sweat and all"

"Well, I was wondering if you would like to j-join us. Ginny, seamus and me that is" he stuttered, pointing at his two friends who waited patiently.

I peaked over my shoulder, catching Draco's eyes for a second before they darted away. I turned back to Neville and smiled widely.

* * *

The stands were crowded, as the supporters had moved from the outside of the arena to their designated school seats. I looked down at the many signs people were holding, none for Harry Potter.

I stepped down to the row, where he sat, squeezing by the spectators until I reached him and smiled once again.

"Seriously?" Draco rolled his eyes "Do you not understand I don't like your presence. Do you want me to write it down for you?"

"Goyle move" I said to the chubby guy in the seat next to Draco, he instantly stood up. Glad to know it was any Malfoy that had control over him. I sat down.

"Go away" my brother snapped.

"I was going to sit with Neville" I noted. "Then I realised, I chose what I wanted over you once before" I looked up at my brother. "I'm not going to lose you twice" as I spoke I remembered telling Neville moments earlier that I couldn't sit with him, Ginny and Seamus, That I couldn't allow myself to be his friend, when I had to sort out my insane family first. I knew I had chased Neville and wanted to be close to him because it felt so right, the only problem was that Draco also felt like the right path. I was torn, but I knew I wanted what I had had in that photo.

"Whatever" he turned to the arena, a fragment of a smile creeping up on him.

Draco.


	7. Chapter 7

"Why do you care?" I asked snape with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "You don't like students, why do you care if I'm coping?" I imagine I looked a lot like Draco as I seated myself atop a desk, legs hanging over the side as the potions professor stood before me.

"Not that I enjoy the task, though Dumbledore felt it necessary for me to check on you" he rubbed his temples, seemingly feeling the stress. "After all you are a Slytherin"

"Well" I pinched my green lining on my robe. "Why yes I am" I smiled.

"Tone down the sarcasm, Malfoy" he hissed, standing up straight. "Apparently its come to the Headmasters attention that you have been spending a lot more time with Draco. He deems it unusual" I had spent the last two weeks basically joined to my brother. Soon twins might not describe us, add a conjoined then maybe.

"Wow, A sister hanging around her brother... You do realise we do magic here right? Not the most unusual thing" I chirped leaning back on my arm. I hadn't noticed till now, how much my actions resembled my brothers and I quickly adjusted myself, sitting straight and trying to pay attention.

Snape rolled his eyes, "Right" he paused, thinking my observations through. "You can leave Malfoy" he shooed me away with a flick of his hand, before turning and fiddling with a heated cauldron.

I gathered my books and stashed them in my bag. I had been asked by Snape to stay after class, and I had, wasting my valuable time that could be spent devouring dinner. I was starved.

I opened the door and Draco waited against the brickwork, clearly not having left his spot since the lesson had ended. "God that took forever" he whined falling into my walking pattern.

"Tell me about it" I mimicked his anger, "I'm bloody starving" my stomach growled as though agreeing with me.

By the time we reached the great hall, food was already being inhaled. We walked over to the Slytherin table and took our seats opposite, Crabbe and Goyle, whom were stuffing their faces with various meats, had they not heard of vegetables? I piled my plate with a scoop of everything in reach and began to pick at it whilst Draco watched me disgusted. "Shut up" I punched his arm, "I'm not that bad" pointing at the dumb-wits in front of us.

We talked about classes and somehow the Tri wizard tournament fell onto the agenda. "No way am I dancing" Draco huffed.

We had the luxury of attending the Yule ball, to which I was dreading attending. "Me neither" I replied, "I would rather burn alive".

Most of the other girls seemed thrilled at the aspect of dancing the night away; I on the other hand was less then excited. There was no one here I'd like to attend with, at least, no one I was talking to. I looked up at a couple of Slytherin girls who were fluttering eyes at Draco, after all it was boys choice "ugh" I muttered aloud, causing my brother to follow my eye contact.

"Ugh" he repeated.

No one expected an owl to enter the great hall, after all it wasn't morning deliveries and it wasn't necessarily a time for any mail to arrive, though there it was an orange bird flapping high above the tables, searching for its recipient.

"That's Fathers" Draco let out, confused an understatement.

The owl spiralled down to the Slytherin table and dropped a small envelope in front of me, causing eyes to fall on myself. I looked at Draco confused, "maybe it's yours" I noted.

He leaned forward and read the scrawl, "nope".

I picked up the letter and traced my finger along Lucius's handwriting, my name written in perfect cursive. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and could sense Draco wanting to rip the paper off of me and devour the words to himself. I slid a finger into the crease and unlocked the paper to reveal my fathers personal writing paper.

I opened it:

_Your mother and myself would be fine with your return home for winter break._

I felt my breath leave my chest as I handed the paper over to Draco for him to re-read. I was speechless, literally unable to find the words I was searching for.

I had intended to spend winter break in my empty dorm, immersing myself in study, this was unexpected.

"This is amazing" Draco exclaimed, shoving me with his elbow.

I couldn't muster a response; I just looked up and caught Neville's eyes in my own. Why I had to see them, I wasn't sure.

I didn't have too much time to see Neville before my gaze was interrupted.

"Well isn't someone popular" a voice I had not heard before filled my ears and I turned around to see a boy, who I had come to recognise as Marcus Flint, A senior at the school who, to my knowledge, had repeated a year.

"Yes Flint" Draco looked up at the boy with a smirk on his face. In the many stories Draco had told me, Marcus Flint had made a few appearances, being quidditch captain and all that.

"Aren't you going to introduce me Malfoy" he nodded his head in my direction, and I felt my skin crawl.

Draco was less than impressed, his face screwed up like fathers "This is Holly" he paused before emphasising "my sister"

He held out his hand for me to shake, at least that's all I thought he was going to do, instead he pressed slobbery lips to my skin and it made my whole body crawl. "Pleased to meet you" he then whispered, I pulled my hand away and wiped it on my skirt.

It seemed impossible, but Draco's face had twisted further, "What do you want flint?" he spat out.

"Well Draco, Seeing as there is the Yule ball" oh god I could see where he was going with this, "and its boys asking girls, I thought I'd ask the prettiest one here" he winked at me.

I felt vomit rise in my throat. "Don't you have anyone in your own year" Draco growled, "You repeated for god sake, she's a fourth year, and it's just gross".

I could help but laugh at what Draco had said and then I added, "Sorry flint, I've got a date" I lied.

"Oh yeah, Who?" I hadn't expected him to ask, surely that was a hint enough. Maybe not, should have taken the fact that he had repeated and wasn't that bright into account.

I flipped my golden hair, "I'm going with Goyle" I lied again. When the fat oaf tried to rebut, I kicked him in the shin and he immediately blamed Crabbe.

"All right then" he slumped down a notch, "But you'll regret that decision" I couldn't tell if that was a threat or he knew too much about Goyle. Either way, he walked away from us, in search of a new girl to terrorise.

"Gross" I shivered turning back to Goyle, "get your dancing shoes on" I smirked, if not one of the doofus twins, then who? Certainly not Neville.


	8. Chapter 8

Searching the books in the library was supposed to be an easy task, I had come to realise it was anything but. All I wanted was a Herbology Encyclopaedia that told me every plants name and use, there was nothing here similar.

No, instead there were plants titles, followed by use and assorted remedies hidden within five hundred pages. It would take me all day to go through one by one and find answers to Professor Sprout's assignment. I did not intend to spend that long on it.

My feet stumbled to keep me planted and I fell to the ground in a heap, when someone had slammed into the side of me.

"Oh..." he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you"

"Watch it next time" I warned, knowing very well that it was Neville.

He knelt down beside me and gathered my papers, "I'm sorry Holly" he apologised again, holding out a hand for me to take. I refused and stood up on my own, grabbing the documents off him.

He was taken aback "did I do something?" he whispered, trying not to make a scene in a silent place.

I tucked my hair behind my ear and straightened my skirt, "Aside from knock me down?" I asked with noticeable venom.

His face sunk, "You know what I mean" he pressed.

I bit my bottom lip and looked up at the tall boy, "No" I spat, "that's just it, you didn't" I pushed past him, ramming his shoulder with my own. Making my limb sore and I'm sure his as well.

"Holly" he grabbed my arm, "I don't understand" sounding like he was going to cry, and his eyes watering suggesting it was most likely going to happen before me.

"Don't you dare" I ripped my arm away from his grip. There was no logical reason that I was acting like this, but my heart seemed to know more than my brain. "Why couldn't you just be a pure blood?" I spilled out causing confusion to overtake Neville's body. I knew it didn't sound right and that I'd need to explain further

I felt my eyes tingling and I remembered Professor Sprout approaching me after class only moments before, "Holly" she had said.

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering how you were handling all of this" she pointed to the plants around us.

"I'm fine" I shrugged, knowing well that I wasn't really coping.

"Ok deary" she exclaimed, "Though please if I seem to be too far ahead of you or you don't feel like you understand, do ask for my help, or Neville's, he's quiet the herbologist and I know the two of you are friends"

That was all Sprout had to say that led me to this rampage on Neville Longbottom right here in the quiet library.

"If you had just been a pure blood, if you hadn't pissed off Draco, I might be able to ask you for help" I held up the thick, red-leather book and shoved it in his face. "I might be able to talk to you, to be around you, to look at you without feeling guilty" I felt a lone tear escape my eye. "I might even be going to the Yule ball with you" I muttered, my voice shaky.

"Hol..." he didn't get to finish, I just left, stashing the book into my bag as I did.

* * *

The next day, Draco fell into the leather couch and placed his feet onto the coffee table. "If I have to hear anything more on muggles I will hang myself" he warned.

"Guessing somebody had muggle studies" I chimed turning the page of my standard book of spells. I knew a lot about Muggles and their way of life having lived amongst them for nearly 4 years, Draco did not have this pleasure.

"It is a useless subject" he noted, snatching the book from my hands. "Why are you reading this?" his eyes were filled with darkness at my studying session.  
"We have Defence against the dark arts" I replied holding out my hand to get my book back.  
"And?" he pressed, as if that wasn't a good enough excuse.

"Mad-eye said we'd be dueling today. Were you not paying any attention" I rolled my eyes once he handed the book to me.

Draco threw his head back against the lounge; "Shit" he seemed to yell at the ceiling.

"That is why I'm reading this" I gestured to the book. "You and everyone else are 4 years ahead of me" I looked at Crabbe and Goyle who were eating a chocolate frog each "Well, almost everyone".

"How come you weren't at muggle studies anyway" Crabbe asked.

"I had a private study session with Professor Sprout" I explained to Draco, even though Minion 1 had asked. "Since I'm so far ahead in Muggle studies, it was permitted" I said it with a smile, which was met with a grimace from my brother. I reminded him of my wandering past.

"Whatever, I'm just glad that in two days we will be home. I hate this dump".

* * *

We walked into the classroom of Defense against the dark arts, the room set for dueling practice. Mad eye moody in the middle of a stage, "Glad you could join us" he drew everybody's attention to our tardiness. "As I was sayin, random names will be drawn from the hat. Those two wizards will fight against each other, winners will receive 5 house points each" he hobbled off the podium once he had said what he needed.

The first duo was a Pansy against Hermione, Second was Crabbe against Ron and the list went on until it was Draco's turn, the name was spelt out in firework over the stage "Juliet" a girl from Hufflepuff. I let out a sigh, glad I didn't have to fight my brother, if by some luck two Slytherin's were picked.

Naturally Draco won, sending Juliet to the Hospital wing with a broken arm, nose and rib cage. It was harsh to see but also impressive.

I looked up to see my name sparkle in the air, it was a pretty sight, green with silver lining to show Slytherin house.

Then sparkling beside it written in red and gold was Neville's name. I gasped, my eyes widening in fear. I felt the blood drain out of my face turning my skin an even whiter shade.

I could see the students parting to make way for Neville, as he stumbled onto the dueling area, his wand shaking in hand. I couldn't move, frozen in panic. Draco nudged me with his shoulder, forcing my stiff body forward.

The students parted like they had done for him and I stepped onto the mat my eyes watering since I had refused to blink. My first sparring match and it happened to be with Neville.

I looked up at him, both of us scared. I remembered his hands covering my eyes and the sweetness in his voice from the day of the first triwizard challenge, then to our encounter in the library. How different things seemed now.

"Well" madeye spoke. "Begin" he grumbled.

"Expelliarmus" Neville yelled, trying to disarm me though my wand did not fly from my hand. I hadn't expected him to cast a spell, perhaps because I had been hesitant, I thought maybe he felt the same.

I looked up at him, my blood now pumping through my body. I felt warm, no hot, and faint. I watched as the boys face changed, morphed into an exact copy of lucius's. As it had been when he was punishing me for hiding, as it had been in Malfoy Manor.

Neville hadn't done it; there was no evidence to say he had, because the same spell was yelled again, this time with my father's voice.

I managed to deflect the expelliarmus spell, which my father had cast. "Expulso" i yelled, pointing my wand to a spot in front of Lucius causing a large explosion.

"Holly" I heard my father whisper my name as his figure became visible through the smoke of the explosion, he was walking towards me.

"Impedimenta" I said casting the spell at Lucius who was knocked back. I felt tears rising in me, my emotions were being played with; I felt angry and haunted. "Stupify" I shouted moments after the first curse, watching the light leave my wand and hit my father directly in the chest.

I heard the muttering of voices and gasps from students, bringing my body back to a cold temperature; one that was not overtaking me.

I looked at their expressions, they were traumatised and that made me walk forward along the dueling mat in time to watch my father's face vanish, revealing Neville's bruised and cut skin. "Neville" I cried running to his side.

"Don't" I felt Draco's hands pull me away from the unconscious boy as Madeye moved in to check his vitals. I was crying aloud, repeating 'no' over and over again.

"Get her out of here" Moody told Draco who hurried me through the crowd and out the door.

Once we were in the silence of the corridor, i tore Draco's hands of my shoulders. "Was it Neville?" i screamed at my brother, grabbing his shirt at the chest.

"What?" Draco asked, no idea what was going on.

"Was it Neville, who I fought? Was it him?" I asked louder, tears streaming down my face.

"Of course it was him, are you insane?" he yelled. "Who else would it have been?"

My legs buckled and I fell to the floor, sobbing into my hands. I'm sure he hadn't known how to respond, nevertheless I felt Draco's hand rubbing my back as he crouched down beside me.


	9. Chapter 9

Soft snores filled the Dorm as I pulled my feet over the side of my bed, letting them land on the cold flooring. I don't know how hunching my back would help with sneaking out of the room, though I did it anyway, creeping down to the common room.

I looked around, the fireplace burnt down to nothing more than black ashes and the furniture sat still, no life in the place. I hurried over to the door and pushed through, feeling weight lift off my shoulders as I passed the first stage.

The halls were dark outside of Slytherin, it was past curfew and all were asleep in other areas of Hogwarts. All but Filch who I had seen patrolling the lower levels of the castle, closer to my own house, or at least I had seen the glow of candlelight followed by his cat.

I hurried up the steps, clothed in my green and silver pyjamas, my hair pulled into a messy bun that left my neck cold, I made my way to the hospital wing.

I looked around the corridor, checking for any signs of students, nurses or professors before pushing open the door.

Three beds were occupied from what I could see from the entrance, the closest being Juliet, who had been beaten to a pulp by Draco. I hurried to her side and drew my wand "Muffliato" i whispered the charm that would cause the girl to go temporarily deaf. I didn't need words travelling back to Draco about my visit.

Then I hurried to a Ravenclaw who had taken a beating, quidditch practice I assumed because of the bludger sized welt on his head, casting the same spell.

I took in a breath and walked to the last bed where Neville lay, his eyes closed in sleep. It was a horrifying image, seeing him like this. I stepped closer to him, my bare feet cold from the stone floor. I tucked my wand into my pants pocket, leaned forward and placed my now empty hand on his, tracing a healed gash on his knuckles.

His skin was warm and I could feel his pulse, beating gently, beneath my finger tips. The cuts that once marked his face had almost completely vanished. I guess they must just be keeping him overnight for observation now, because he was almost completely recovered.

Whilst at stared at his scarred face, I watched his eyes flutter open causing my stomach to leap in dread. "Holly?" he croaked, squinting in my direction.

"Neville, I'm so sorry" I whispered, feeling those familiar tears burning in my eyes. I had cried so much at Hogwarts, I deserved a sad award.

"Hey" I felt his weak hand grab my arm and I could feel unfamiliar goosebumps trail across the entire length of my skin, my body liking his touch. "You don't need to be sorry" he smiled, moving his hand and patting the bed, gesturing for me to sit. "However" he looked around "You will need to be sorry if they catch you out past curfew" adding with concern.

"I don't care" I smiled back, letting me eyes release a single tear. "The worst they can do is expel me".

"Then I won't be able to see you" he grinned, his eyes looked to be seeing double, obviously the drugs were working.

"I've been horrible to you Neville" I stated finally sitting like he had asked. "First the Library, now the fact that I nearly killed you" I noted thinking of the explosion and the stupify spells, more tears falling.

Neville placed his hand on my knee, making my stomach start to flutter, a feeling I have never felt aside from this boy. He shrugged painfully, "I'm still alive".

"Barely" I laughed softly, making him copy me, again painfully.

"If nearly dying is what it takes to talk to you, I'll pick more fights with Slytherins" he huffed.

I placed my hand atop of his, on my knee, "Stop it" I warned with an airy voice.

He moved his hand from my leg and began to push himself up into a seating position, groaning in pain as he did. "I know you're going through a lot at the moment" Neville started. "With Draco and school and other family members and friends" the list really did go on.

"And you..." I interrupted.

"Yeah" he smiled, the wound on his lip nearly reopening as it stretched. "Just to make it harder" before I could stop him his lips were pressed to mine. I didn't pull away, I couldn't physically do that, not because he was holding me down or trapping me, but because my body wouldn't allow it, my heart had control, not my head.

I closed my eyes and lent into him, the opposite of what my brain was begging me to do. He lifted his arm, the one that was not supporting his weight, and placed his warm palm onto the back of my neck. I hadn't realised that I had raised my own hand to caress his face, my thumb pressed against one of the many scars I had created.

Neville broke the kiss, pulling his lips away from mine by mere centimetres, "I'm sorry" he whispered, "I had to kiss you, at least once" we were breathing in time with one another, allowing our breath to greet each other as it left our bodies.

I shook my head slowly, "Don't be sorry" I mumbled, forcibly returning my lips to his.

* * *

I hurried down the stairs and made my way to the Slytherin common room, my feet close to falling off because of the icy path I had travelled. "Salazar" I mumbled to the door which opened immediately, accepting my password, I walked in to see Draco seated on the arm of the leather couch.

He had been waiting for me, Kyra must have told him of my vanishing act. "Where have you been?" he asked, his tone like it had been when I first arrived at Hogwarts.

I swallowed, "I had to see him" it wasn't a lie.

"You told me you'd stay away from him" Draco spat standing up from the chairs arm and taking a stance similar to my fathers.

I felt the shadow of Neville's kiss leave my lips, bringing me back to the harsh reality. "I could have killed him, I just wanted to make sure he was ok" I argued.

Draco seemed to think of my comment, "and that's it? You will never talk to him again?" he asked raising his light eyebrows.

I lowered my head, my eyes falling on the ground under my ghostly feet, "I will never talk to him again" my heart was torn out of my chest as I said it and I was aware that I sounded like a child.

"Well then" Draco said rather chirpy. "Good" with that settled he started towards the boy's dorm.

"Draco" I heard my voice say, before I could stop it. My brother turned, he had heard it despite how faint it was.

"Yeah?" he asked, eyebrows rose further in curiosity.

I wanted to say that I like Neville and that despite everything I wanted both to be good to my family and be with the Gryffindor, instead "I can't wait to go home" left my mouth.

Draco smiled back.


	10. Chapter 10

***Authors Note: hello readers, thanks for staying on board with my story. This is the chapter of most importance! why did Holly leave all those years ago? find out now. Please keep me updated on all your thoughts, I'd definitely love to hear it all***

* * *

The train swayed my body from side to side as I looked out the window watching the valleys and lakes melt into one another. I hadn't taken my eyes of the view since the Hogwarts Express had left the school, unable to keep my mind off of Neville Longbottom. Draco had the company of Crabbe and Goyle to keep him entertained, though every now and then I could feel his eyes rest on me.

This was my first winter holidays and as my oaf of a date had reminded me it would also be the time to organise Yule Ball garments. I hadn't forgotten about the Yule ball, I just pushed it into the back of my mind. When most girls were gushing over the little things about the dance, I was worried about my return home to my family and whether Draco would mention anything more to me about me wandering the halls the other night wanting to see the boy I had nearly killed. Of course he didn't know that I we had shared a kiss.

"Pansy" Draco replied to a question asked by Crabbe, "the only girl I won't completely despise going with" unlike most guys, Draco hadn't asked her. Pansy herself had spread a rumour that the two were going and that eventually was accepted by Draco with a shrug of his shoulders.

Crabbe had been turned down by a number of girls before intimidating a Slytherin to go with him and Goyle naturally had me. I wonder what the two lards might look like at the Yule ball, Dapper? I think not.

I had heard the shuffle and finally looked away from the window to see the three boys standing up, "What's happening?" I questioned.

"We're there" he replied, and as he did the train began to slow. Having not attended the school for as long as the three of them, I wasn't aware of familiar signs of an ending trip.

I stood up and followed in their path, joining into the hustle of students leaving the carriage, some joyous at seeing their parents, others disappointed that they were home from Hogwarts.

I stepped off the carriage and looked up to see the giant Cane standing above everyone's parents, I couldn't help but smile at seeing him, clearly we had become best friends over the course of my capture and return.

"Where's father" Draco snarled once we reached close enough to see that only Cane stood there.

"Couldn't make it" Can grumbled nodding his head at me, greeting me as warmly as the death eater could.

Draco piped up again, "but he always picks me up".

Cane leaned over closer to Draco; "He's dealing with Business" that was all the man had to say to have my brother slump back. "I'll grab your stuff" he added, "go nowhere" that was a direct quote to me.

I watched the man vanish into the sea of people.

* * *

Dinner was placed before me and I realised how not hungry I was, not that it had anything to do with the watchful eyes of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, I just felt a tad sick.

"I despise Muggle studies" Draco announced to the family.

"A ludicrous subject" my father agreed, spooning a sizable amount of dinner into his mouth.

Draco continued, "Why it's even on the agenda I don't understand, why would anyone care what muggles have invented? Their lives are pointless" he smirks.

"Careful" Lucius hisses, "your sister is here" it was intended as a stab at me.

I placed my fork down, "I couldn't agree more, clearly some mudblood had a say in the classes" my father let a smile overtake his face. I agreed with my words, why study a subject that was worthless? Why be intrigued by muggle creations when if I wanted I could summon something to me with the swish of a wand. We had magic, who needed inventions?

I could see my brothers face light up as he noticed Lucius's smile. I was making Draco proud, whether it was intended or not.

"May I be excused?" I questioned Narcissa, "I feel rather sick" like a mother would do, she leaned across and placed a hand on my forehead.

"You're burning up" she stood quickly, "Go lie down and I'll get the house elf to bring up some medicine". With that I left the table, taking the stairs one at a time, before slithering into my blanket and falling asleep in a heap.

My dream came to me, a memory I hadn't forgotten, but necessarily did not want to remember to often:

The halls of the Malfoy manor were dark as I made my way down the stairs, lightly and playfully, being the youth I was. My Hogwarts acceptance letter had arrived in the mail that morning and that night I simply couldn't sleep, excitement taking over me.

I needed water, being as parched as one could be from reading and re-reading my letter aloud.

I was almost at the kitchen when I saw a small fragment of light shining from my father's study. He had been out of town, I wasn't aware he was home.

Dancing across the cold floorboards towards the open door, I tried to not make a sound. It was normal for house elves to be thudding the halls, maybe my father would think I was one of those monstrosities.

"They have to be pure" I heard a voice note, realising immediately it was my aunt Bellatrix, what was she doing here?

"Well go to an orphanage" Lucius yelled at her.

Bellatrix stepped forward, closer to my father, "You know it's not that simple" she snarled, "The child needs to be of Death eater parents" I couldn't understand the topic they were on.

"Well they can use another Death Eater's" my mother demanded, her tone not intimidating compared to the others.

Bellatrix turned to the seat I was certain my mother sunk in, "Narcissa, I don't want to do this. You understand that don't you?" her voice tried to be sweet but missed the mark. "The spell needs a youth and one is not as powerful a sacrifice as..." she paused, "a Malfoy child".

I stepped back, my hand covering my mouth. I wanted to scream but I couldn't, I had to listen, continue listening.

"Lucius, how important is the Dark Lord to you?" Bellatrix moved onto my father's loyalties.

"You know" he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. "But to sacrifice one of my children in his name" for the first time, my father sounded weak.

"It has to be done" my aunt added.

Narcissa stood, and Lucius looked into her eyes. "Fine" he breathed "Take Draco" he finally sobbed.

My mother began to cry as Bellatrix nodded, "you're doing the right thing. When the time comes for the Dark lord to rise, Draco will be sacrificed" with that my aunty vanished, going to tell everyone the good news I assumed.

"No" Narcissa ran into my father's cloak, sobbing.

"Would you prefer it to be Holly?" he questioned, although he was the one who answered it. "She is stronger than Draco, she will be greater in due time" with that I stepped away, knocking a house elf over and not staying to receive an apology from him.

I woke out of my dream, sweat pouring down my body, unable to stop shaking as I remembered all of it.

My mother stepped forward from behind the door, away from the shadows moving towards me. "I always knew you were there that day" she said, taking a seat on my bed and handing me a glass of water that I took in my unsteady hands.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't, I just took a sip of the cold beverage.

"And I also always knew why you left" tears glazed her eyes as she looked at me, brushing my hair behind my ear.

"I don't..." I started, but she silenced me.

"Your love for Draco made you board the wrong train, you knew the only way to get your father to sacrifice you instead and not bring word to your brother's ears, was to embarrass Lucius" she smiled widely, trying to conceal her sadness. "You stayed in contact with Bellatrix and told her to notify you of the Dark lords return, so you yourself could return and be Draco's replacement for the spell" with that a tear fell from my own eyes.

"How did you know?" I asked with a whimper, placing my water on the bedside table.

She leaned forward and hugged me; "Because you're my daughter" I felt her tear hit my hair, "I will always love you".


	11. Chapter 11

***A/N: this one is a little bit shorter, I've been a tad busy. Sorry readers :( ***

* * *

I lie wrapped in Narcissa's arms, my blonde hair entangling into her cloak. I hadn't stayed like this since I was a child and the warmth of my mother embrace made me wish I hadn't grown up.

"I should let you get some sleep" she whispered into my curls.

My eyes were heavy and I couldn't have agreed more that I needed to sleep. The sun was rising, allowing rays to peak through the curtains. "I don't want you to go" I mumbled through a yawn.

"I'll be here all holidays" she smiled, adjusting me slightly so she could escape my weight.

I sat up, tired, and looked at her. My mother was beautiful, the kind of beauty that hopefully I would have grown up to mimic. Bellatrix had told me the wheels, of the Dark Lords return, were in motion, and my days of life were numbered. I just wish I knew what I would have been had I the option of living past my fourth year.

She ran her fingers through my hair, "Just don't tell Father" I whispered, reminding her of the reason I had left, knowing that he might change his mind, or do something that would put Draco into my shoes.

Narcissa slowly creased her lips into a smile and nodded, the tears returned to her eyes.

* * *

I had been home for a few days when the sound of Draco's voice rang from the side of my bed. "Wake up" he growled, clearly he had just woken from his own slumber.

"What?" I groaned into my pillow, its case slightly damp from drool.

He yawned; "Going to get our bloody Yule ball garments" he was less than impressed. Lucius and Narcissa had come to an agreement that we would shop together making it a family event. He now punched my side with his fist, trying to hit me awake.

"Piss off" I yelled, throwing the saliva filled pillow at him, the wet side hitting him directly on the face.

"Argh" he stepped back, "You're a filthy muggle" he snapped trying to insult me in the only way Draco knew how, before scurrying out of the room.

I showered and dressed myself in the only clothes I really had, a pair of tight jeans and a black shirt and jacket. I would look like the poorest Malfoy in comparison to my family.

By the time we reached Diagon Alley, it was the middle of the day, not because we travelled a long distance, we transported by chimney after all, because Draco had taken the longest to get ready.

The sun was high in the sky and the streets were crawling with the wizard community, all searching for something or another. There were a number of shops that sold beautiful dresses and suits along Diagon Alley, but being Lucius Malfoy meant that we were not in the right part of town.

"Knockturn Alley" father greeted with a wave of his hands, embracing the darker side of the shopping district.

"Where are we going?" Draco moaned, following in father's footsteps. Knockturn Alley was known for its 'dark arts', I hadn't known it to sell clothes as well.

Narcissa chirped in the answer, "Only one place is fit for our children" she smiled at me, looping her arm around my shoulders. I hadn't expected my family to be all 'Yule ball' pride, but here they were, rather excited about all the possibilities.

"And where is that?" Draco looked over his shoulder at the two of us, asking mother for answers since Lucius wasn't explaining.

'Grimms Garments and Gowns' was the store we came to a halt in front of. I recognised the big headed oaf behind the counter as we entered, a death eater known as Leviath Grimm, a family friend.

"Malfoy's" he greeted from with a large, toothless grim. He was an old man, at least one-hundred, and completely incapable of breathing without sounding like a squealing pig.

"Hello Leviath" Lucius greeted, "Look around" he shoved Draco and I, into the room of dark garments, whilst he stayed to talk to his large friend.

"This is pathetic" Draco touched a tailored suit. "They all look the same" he noted. It was true, all the male outfits were almost identical, a few minor changes here and there, but predominately black.

I walked away from the Mens section, allowing him to sulk into the fabrics, searching for a dress that stood out.

Much like the males, a lot of the dresses were black, though the changes were more obvious. They were puffy and lacy and big and broken with a bounce of colour, noticeable, made to make a statement. I was not one for making statements, I was more of a 'disappear into the shadows' kind of dresser.

I checked the dresses one by one, some had a unique beauty to them, but none that made me stop in my tracks. "Found one?" Leviath stomped up behind me.

"No" I replied bluntly.

The chunky man peered down at my mother and father who were fighting with Draco about a particular ensemble. "Well when Lucius told me that you were coming" he breathed an unhealthy breath. "I immediately thought of one gown in particular" the large man waddled over to a large cupboard and whispered something into it. A charmed cupboard that dispensed particular pieces from storage, for a Knockturn alley shop, he was well equipped.

The cupboard shuffled on the spot and steam leaked from its hinges before stopping suddenly and opening with a force that should have thrown the doors away. "Come ere" Leviath wheezed.

As I approached I could already see the dress; Medieval inspired, it was the emerald green of Slytherin house that fell into darker tones until it hit a complete black from the legs down. It left the arms and neck bare, and the chest was marked with a black lace with the green peeking out from underneath. It was everything and more than the other garments in the store and yet I fell immediately for the Slytherin-ish dress. I knew it was the one.


	12. Chapter 12

The trunk lay open on my bed, half packed with new clothes that the holidays with my family had bought me. The dress, my beautiful dress, was hidden in an airtight bag and awaited to be packed amongst my other garments.

There was a soft knock on the door, I had left it wide open and I turned to see my father walk in. His head was held as high as it has always been, nose up in the air, though his body conveyed a different meaning, he was hesitant on coming over to me. I hadn't really been alone with my father since I was a child; every other moment we shared was in anger or silence or a forced happiness that was brought on by my mother and Draco.

"All packed?" he asked, walking over to me with that caution, as though I was going to whip out my wand and cast the killing curse.

"Nearly" I shrugged, just needing to fit my shoes and Yule ball gown in.

He nodded and sat on the end of my bed, as though sitting on a table of spikes. I walked over to my cupboard, now bare, and leant down to pick up the three pairs of shoes, Draco had over twenty.

My father cleared his throat, "This might sound a tad strange" he paused, gulping down his words.

"Go on" I pressed, placing the shoes in a separate bag so none of my clothes would be tainted, before placing the bag in my trunk.

"Where did you go?" he stopped again, before coughing out the words, "when you left?" I never expected my father to care or even consider asking where I had been all those years.

I didn't know how to answer "I was picked up by muggle police outside a pub in London and taken to an orphanage, when I said I didn't have any parents" his face twisted. "Then I went into a foster home with some muggles for just short of a year" I watched my father flinch at the word Muggles. "The people I stayed with had to enrol me into a muggle school as per the orphanage orders. My foster family had several kids to care for" I picked up my gown and squished it into my trunk.

"Then" he hissed out the question. I was unsure if he meant to sound so angry, because his face was quite soft.

"Then I left" I noted, unwilling to mention that I had in fact been in contact with Bellatrix who told me a certain death eater, named Cane, had room for me at his home. That would be where I spent the next few years, until I was once again contacted by Bellatrix to tell me that it was 'time'. "I lived in a Homeless Muggle Compound and was found by Cane" I shrugged, trying to hide my lie.

"Hmm" my father grunted.

"Why did you want to know?" I shut my trunk and locked it.

He shuffled on the spot, wrinkling my bed sheets, "because I wanted to know" he mumbled. My father reminded me a lot of Draco, other than pure conniving; they had a sense of sweetness laced in their evil little bodies.

I smiled, "ok".

"Well" he stood; he placed his hand into his pocket and drew out a gold box, small enough to be jewellery or a gem. "Here" he handed it to me with a natural Malfoy force. "I got this for you from Knockturn Alley the day we went shopping for your school supplies in your first year" I held the box in my hand, wanting to open it, yet hesitant because of the meaning it had held to my father. "I planned to send it to you by Owl after your sorting, and I didn't get to" there was a noticeable sadness in Lucius's eyes.

I looked down and opened the box, it was the Malfoy family pendant on a, white gold laced with emerald swirls, chain, I felt my eyes swell with tears, I couldn't stop myself lunging to hug my father, even if it was against his will. "I'm so sorry" was what I wanted to say and instead I whispered "I love it".

* * *

It was easy to get lost in the Yule ball craze that swept over Hogwarts. It was the return feast and the tables were ringing with holiday gossip and dress talk, Slytherin was no exception.

I picked at the chicken leg on my plate and watched Draco bicker with Pansy, she wanted to ensure he was prepared for the dance and he wanted to crawl into the wooden seat beneath him. Crabbe and Goyle were stuffing their faces not fazed by the talk around them, my date ladies and gentlemen, be jealous.

I could not stop my eyes wandering over the Gryffindor table, searching for Neville. I hadn't seen him since the night in the hospital, and I wasn't really convinced that I was ready to see him yet. I didn't want to know anything about his Yule ball plans, or how his holidays were. I didn't care to know, yet here I was searching for him.

"Nice Necklace" Marcus Flint stated whilst plopping down onto the seat beside me, throwing a third year out of the way.

I flicked my hair over my shoulder and looked up at him under my dark lashes, Draco still occupied by Pansy and the doofus twins still devouring their five meal entree. "Can I help you?" I hissed, a familiar Malfoy tone rising in me.

"You can help me in many ways" he smiled, a toothy-crooked grin whilst peeking down at my necklace once again, conveniently placed just above my slight cleavage.

I could have rushed to cover it but instead I leaned forward, placing my chin into my palm and resting my elbow on the table, "Please do tell" I flirted. Granted I wanted nothing to do with Marcus Flint, but distracting myself from Neville Longbottom was the plan.

"Go to the Ball with me" he begged.

I laughed and leant back, "I thought you were going with Constance Tribble".

He leaned in closer to me, "I'd dump her in a heartbeat" raising his eyebrows to show his determination.

I swallowed and looked at my date, "Maybe" I peaked back at him, "I could save you a dance" I couldn't stop the words leaving my mouth, they just galloped out and pranced over to Marcus.

"I'll take it" he smiled again, his face taking on a dark shape.

I wondered what I had got myself into.


	13. Chapter 13

***A/N: thanks to everyone who is sticking around for my story, I've been a little in and out of this, I know. Please enjoy the Yule ball chapter and keep me posted on thoughts and criticism or feedback, as always I'd love to hear. 3 ***

* * *

There was something odd about being dressed in a fabulous gown, hair curled into a twisted bun, makeup perfectly applied and necklace, nails and earrings glistening in the light, that didn't match sitting on my bed in the dorm room.

My fellow Slytherins had hurried up to the Great Hall and here I was alone sitting on the bed looking down at my black gloved hands.

Draco had tried to collect me, hell even Goyle had tried to woo me out of the Dorm, with no luck for either of them. I don't know why I wasn't hurrying to join the festivities, I just felt weighed down, unable to move, and I just couldn't pin point why.

I looked at my reflection in Kyra's mirror, an object she had spent many hours peering into. I am a spitting image of my mother and I allow my mind to think, for a second, that I am as beautiful as she, though I do not dare dwell on these thoughts.

I shift my feet, the high heels tight and new, something I hadn't experienced too much of. I stand, and walk, somehow coming to the decision to join my classmates.

The stairs from the Dungeon are steep, harder to walk up in my uncomfortable footwear. I can hear the students and music spilling out of the hall and know the festivities are full swing. I peak around the corner, trying to get a glimpse of other girls dresses, had I overdone it? Was I too fancy? The sight of my fellow girls put me at ease; they were all stunning, some more than others.

I walked forward and fell into the crowd of non-dancers at the back of the hall, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle amongst them.

"Wow" Draco mused once his eyes fell on me. "You don't look ugly" he smiled a crooked smile and Crabbe and Goyle, for once, did not have their eyes on food, but on me. I felt a blush rising in my cheeks and knew that even if it was the doofus twins, that their attention towards me felt nice.

They both babbled, something incoherent and nodded as though trying to tell me something along the lines of my brother. I rolled my eyes, "Haven't got your dancing shoes on?" I jabbed Draco with my gloved hand.

"Bloody terrible idea, this" he waved his hands around. "Dancing, is a moronic activity" he growled.

"Just ask Pansy" I spat at him, "the worst thing that could happen is you have fun. And I know that is like losing a limb for you" I joked.

Draco pursed his lips, "Fine" and rather then ask he grunted at Pansy and began walking to the dance floor, seemingly enough instruction for her to follow.

"Well" I swished my dress around and stood in front of my date, "how's about a dance? I didn't get all dolled up for nothing" I grabbed Goyle by the tie and began in my brother's path. "Kyra" I demanded passing a table, "Dance with Crabbe".

The first song was unbelievably a fast tempo and rather than dance we were left looking like crazed puppets in the middle of the floor. I was getting taken away by the music, allowing the drums to run through my body, strands of my golden hair becoming untacked by the absurd amount of movement.

A few more songs into it and something slow hit the speakers. I raised my hands to Goyle's shoulders and moved into him, having to adjust his hands to hold my waist rather than hang by his side like he was doing and impersonation of a lamp post. "Good job" I awarded him, when he relaxed his shoulders. There was something strange about Goyle, not eating and being dressed up formally, which might suggest he had a hope in hell of being descent one day. Not for me, but for someone, maybe.

We twirled past Draco, who was holding pansy like a toxic object that might leak into his blood stream. Crabbe who was surprisingly doing well with Kyra and Neville with Ginny Weasley's head resting on his chest as he looked at her hair.

My heart skipped a beat, like it had taken a punch by my rib cage. "Um" I stepped back from Goyle, "I need to use the bathroom" I noted, lying recently becoming my forte.

I hurried out of the great hall, out of the grand entrance and into the night. There was no one out here; it was quiet and cold, icy even. I made my way to a bench and took a seat, my bare arms freezing as the wind whipped at them.

I looked up at the moon, high and bright in the sky, the stars twinkling amongst the darkness. I felt a warmth creep over my shoulders and I noticed immediately that it was a coat, still toasty from its owner, Marcus Flint.

"Hi" he said sitting down beside me, a vest covering his white shirt and his jacket shielding me against the cold.

"Thanks" I noted pulling the fabric to cover the exposed part of my chest, in part, my cleavage.

He took a swig of something that was in a silver, serpent engraved, flask, I could smell the liquor from here. "Not going to dob me in are ya?" he laughed breathing alcohol laced breath onto me.

"Only if you don't give me any" I held out my hand.

He smiled that toothy smile and placed the flask in my palm, I swallowed a mouthful and it burnt all the way down, "Crap" I blurted, "What is this?"

"Strong hey?" he laughed, "A concoction".

"I may as well be drinking Lava" I joked, still I took another sip, the same sensation following.

He took the flask off me and copied me, "Malfoy's got a wicked side" he nudged, handing me back the flask.

"You have no idea" I replied with a laugh, already feeling a buzz from the acidic beverage. This concoction somehow was like drinking an entire bottle per sip, unbelievable.

"Oh yeah" he watched me take another, "what am I missing out on?" he moved his face closer to mine, as though watching my lips drink the liquid.

I felt my muscles in my body tingling and my head grow heavy, I was incredibly slipping into a drunken state, I had been drunk once before when cane had been out of the house and I had nothing else to do, his liquor cabinet was mine for the taking.

"Well" I thought, my speech a little slurry. "I seem to betray a lot of people that I love" I laughed at this, I didn't find it particularly funny at all, but still.

"Why are you laughing?" he joined me. Marcus had clearly taken to drinking this putrid beverage a few times before, and had a hold on himself better then myself.

I continued to giggle turning on the bench and sitting like I was riding a hippogriff, no side saddling like a lady, looking at the flask which was blurry in my hysterics. "I don't know" I chuckled.

"Ok" he laughed taking the flask off me. "You've had enough" he took a sip.

"Nawww" I smiled, poking him in the chest "You're no fun" I stuck my tongue out.

He tightened the lid on the bottle and stored it in his vest pocket. "And you're a lightweight" he joked back.

I stopped cackling and looked up at Marcus Flint, "You know something?" I questioned grabbing his tie out of amusement.

"What?" he pressed, not trying to take back the article of clothes, I no doubt was choking him with.

I thought about it for a second and apparently it was a good idea to go with, "You are THAT ugly" I emphasized the that, because he was no Neville Longbottom.

"Th..." I assume he was about to thank me but somewhere between his gracious acceptance of my observation and now, I had pressed my lips to his.


	14. Chapter 14

I don't recall at what point the kiss had intensified, nevertheless it had done just that. I was seated on his lap facing him with my legs wrapped around his waist, Marcus's hands pulling my hips closer to his as I held his face with my still gloved hands.

I could feel his tongue in my mouth, fighting with my own; I leaned back and took a breath of cold air, all whilst looking into his eyes. My head was heavy with the alcohol still circulating my body, my arms cold once again because Marcus's loaned jacket had fallen off in the heat of everything.

His hands crept up the side of my body, lingering for a moment beneath my chest, his thumbs holding the underwire of my bra, and he smiled a devilish smile. He then continued the trek up my body, allowing his fingers to run along my neck, where my necklace stayed. My body shook at his touch and he pulled me back into his lips, somehow kissing me more passionately then before.

I kept my mind on his fingers that slid to the back of my dress, where the zipper was, his intent perhaps to unzip me, I pulled my head away from him, but he took that as an opportunity to kiss my neck, nibbling softly at my collarbone.

"Marcus" I whispered, my mind slowly awakening from the drunken slumber it had been in. He didn't stop, in fact his grip tightened on my back, his nails digging into my skin. "Marcus" I warned louder, trying to pry myself away from him.

"Hey, Let go of her" I heard a yell from behind us and Marcus released me, pushing me to the ground. My bare back hit the stone floor, though it didn't hurt in comparison to the fingers that had moments before bore into my back.

Marcus stood over me, unwilling to help me up, "Back off Longbottom" he yelled as I sat upright on the ground.

"No you back off" Neville's voice was closer than it had been, he was closer. "Or I'll get a professor" he played on that typical Gryffindor behaviour.

"Whatever" Marcus snapped, bending only to snatch up his jacket. "It has been fun Malfoy, we should do it again" he hissed wiping his lips that still held my saliva as he stomped back into the castle.

"Are you ok?" Neville knelt at my side and placed a caring hand on my back.

"Don't touch me" I yanked my body away from him and hurried to stand up, fumbling over the gown and my heels.

"Holly" Neville's voice was quiet, broken.

I stumbled, unaware of my lack of leg control in my drunken state. "Seriously" I gathered myself and glared at him, "Just get lost" I hissed, my tone strikingly similar to Draco's.

"Sorry" he choked, "For whatever I did" he threw his arms around, "but please let me help you".

I blew my messy hair out of my face, "I don't want your help" I yelled, stumbling on my feet once again.

"You're drunk" he stated, a little defeated in his voice.

I straightened myself, "No shit" I leant down and pulled one heel off and then the other maybe bare feet would help my situation.

"You don't have to like me Holly, You don't even have to talk to me, but please let me get you down to the Dungeons and you can sleep this off" he reached for me again, and I could not refrain myself from shoving him back.

"I said don't touch me" I shouted as Neville fell backwards, I hadn't pushed him hard enough to fall to the ground, but enough to put some space between us.

"Why?" he asked, moving closer to me and filling the space I had made.

"Because I said so" I noted, starting a staggering path to the castle, it was slow and uncertain.

He stepped in front of me blocking me with five copies of himself, "I don't care if you're drunk or a Slytherin or a Malfoy or whatever" a long list left the fancily dressed Gryffindor, "But this is not you" he pointed to my gown, or at least me underneath it. "You don't just get drunk and start making out with Marcus Flint".

"You don't know anything about me" I tried to focus on the middle of the multiple Neville's and wondered if it was the right one. "You have no right to think you do either" I jabbed him with my heels.

"I know you enough" he pointed out and my mind instantly returned to that night in the hospital wing, the kiss we shared.

"No you don't" I whispered, my voice softer then it had been as I felt the ghostly touch of Marcus's lips on my neck. "Just forget about it" I shrugged off the conversation and tried to walk back along the path once more.

"No" he blocked me once again. "You always get to call the shots" he yelled at me, making my throat heavy with a lump of tears.

"N..." I didn't get to finish because he continued.

"You chose to talk to me on the train. You left me at the first Tri wizard event for Draco. You confessed your feelings to me in the Library. You knocked me out in the dual. You kissed me and you chose not to talk to me" he shouted, his voice rising by the second. "I want a chance to call the shots.

"B..." again I was cut off, he wasn't done just yet.

"I want to be able to see you, to hold you, to kiss you, to make you smile" he closed the gap; "to have the right to love you" he placed a hand on my cheek.

"I..." he covered my lips with a single finger.

"I just want you to know how I feel about you and I hope you remember when you're sober" he placed his lips on my forehead before turning away from me and walking the path to the entrance that I had wanted to walk.

My eyes followed him and met the figure of Draco standing by the door, he let Neville pass without a word, instead he just watched me, his face blank of emotion.


	15. Chapter 15

The blanket covered my head as my eyes creaked open, slight sun's rays creeping through the gap between the pillow and the quilts edge.

There was no doubt in my mind that everyone was in the great hall talking up a storm about the Yule Ball and how marvellous it had been for them. I however wanted to disappear into the mattress below and become yet another piece of the bed.

I felt a weight squish the end of my bed, pulling part of the cover down and revealing a strip of my forehead to the room. "Still wasted?" Draco pressed, I couldn't see his face but I imagined it, snarky no doubt.

"Get lost" I kicked my foot, hitting his side. I hadn't said a word to Draco after he had caught Neville and me in a heated discussion during the ball; he of course, did all the talking. As I had tried to get pass him, he grabbed my arm, noticing I was drunk increased his rage. He had looked so much like father as he yelled at me and demanded I return to my dorm. I didn't need his instructions because that was where I was headed anyway.

He stripped the blanket off of me, revealing my gown that I had been too lazy and too drunk to take off. I had managed to untie my hair in the night, but was unable to wipe of my makeup and it was highly likely to be painted all over my face. "Attractive" he rolled his eyes and looked at Kyra's bed.

"Shut up" I groaned, forcing my head into the pillow still trying to disappear into the fabric. "How did you even get in here?" it was mumbled and I wondered if he could understand what I was attempting to say.

"The enchantment doesn't really apply to siblings" he stated, talking about the no boys and no girls in each other's dorms.

"It should still apply" my harsh tone was hidden by the case. I could feel Draco's eyes roll, call it a twin thing or intuition or just common knowledge of all things Draco Malfoy, but I knew he was doing it. I sat upright and faced him, "What do you want?" my voice raised.

"You knew we'd need to talk about this" he snarled back at me.

I felt an avalanche of tears rising from my eyes, all I needed was to add teary makeup and snot bubbles to this conversation. "Why?" I snapped back. "Why does it need to be your problem? Why can't it just be mine? It is my life".

"In case you haven't noticed, you're a Malfoy and you're in Slytherin house. That makes it my problem" Draco stood up gaining further height over me, shadowing me in his never-ending judgment aura.

"So that makes it ok?" I wanted to stand up, but I was still groggy and exhausted, so slamming my hands against the mattress was the alternative path I took to show my anger. "I went to the ball with Goyle. I went home with you over the break. I have used every piece of my willpower to stay away from anyone that is not a Slytherin. I chose you time and time again. Why? Why is it so impossible for you to just let me live my life without worrying about the consequences it will have on you?" it was turning into a shouting match.

"You're my sister" was his only reply and yet that small simple sentence stabbed me in the heart and reminded me that he was in fact my brother. He had his rights to worry about me or be disappointed or ashamed or whatever, because is and will always be my blood.

I wasn't prepared for my response; I let my words spill out of me with no real plan for the structure of the sentence. "And you're my brother" I noted the well known fact. "I love you Draco. I will always love you, way more then you will ever know" the tears slowly fell over my cheeks. "But I'm not like you. I'm different and I don't know if it's something I was born with or something about living away from the Manor that sculpted that in me" I looked into my brother's eyes and saw a glimmer of Lucius.

"You'll always be number one to me" I thought of Bellatrix telling me that it was time for the Dark Lord's return, time for me to die in place of Draco, returning with Cane to my family and the hatred in my father's eyes, the sadness in my brothers, Neither of them to know my time frame. "Be it days, weeks" I hesitated "months or years. You will always be the most important thing in my life. But If I die tomorrow, I want to know that I lived my life" I pointed to my chest.

"It may not seem ideal to you" I finally stood up and as always, I was no match for Draco's height. "But I would like Neville to be part of it. Not forever, but for the moment, for now" my brother was good at making a face of resentment.

"You'd just date him without my approval anyway" he started scraping at the bed post with his nail, picking at peeling varnish.

I let out a breath, "No" I paused, "I'd need your permission" there was no hint of sarcasm in my words and he noticed that immediately, his eyes quickly dashing to mine.

"I never want to hear anything about him. Not even a snippet of his name. And if I see a glimpse of you with him, I will not hesitate to cast the killing curse. So help me I will still loath that blood traitor" he growled at me, using his index finger to point at me with authority.

A smile drew on my face, "Not a peep" I ran at my brother and hugged him with a vice-like grip. He was fighting me off, but his muscles beneath my arms suggested he wanted the cuddle I was forcing upon him. I leaned up and kissed his cheek, putting the icing on the cake. "Love you Draco" I laughed, "But see ya" I released him and ran.

I hurried to the Slytherin common room, empty except for a couple making out on the leather lounges in front of the fire. Racing from the dungeons, I did my best to wipe of makeup, at least where I assumed makeup would be, beneath my eyes, my cheeks and my lips, not overly striving for perfection.

I staggered into the grand entrance and made my way to the great hall. The tables were mostly empty except for a few late grazers or socialising students who hadn't taken to the castle grounds or common rooms.

My eyes found Neville, seated with a paper in front of him, alone except for Ginny Weasly who read a book and a boy I was not familiar with. As though sensing my presence Neville looked up and his face immediately fell in to disbelief. I couldn't help but smile widely at the boy as he placed the paper down and stood from his seat.

"Hey Malfoy" an arm crawl around my shoulders and I looked away from the Gryffindor I liked to see Marcus flint who I disliked very much attached to me.

I could see Neville's shoulders slump out of the corner of my eye, "Oh, piss of Flint" I shoved him away and ran to the boy I wanted to be with.

Somehow I leaped, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his lips all at once.


	16. Chapter 16

The potion sprung to life, twisting and turning in the cauldron like we had dropped a bucket of thrashing piranhas into the mix.

Draco stepped back, "What did you do?" he aimed at me, despite the fact that I sat on the stool and scribbled notes whilst he 'took charge' as he had demanded at the beginning of the lesson.

"Did you put toadstool in?" I asked with a smile.

"Shit" he replied dunking a small bowl of the missed ingredients into the mix as I turned back to the book with a smile. I liked that Draco doubted my abilities, having Crabbe and Goyle as partners over the years obviously tainted his trust in helpers. "Don't say anything" he added or warned me not to tease him.

"Mouth is zipped" I smiled wider into the pages.

Snape circled the room like a vulture, ensuring that everyone was on the right track as to not blow up his classroom I guessed. Rather than offer encouraging words to people, he took small points from houses. Ravenclaw just lost five for melting a vile.

"Does this look right?" Draco stepped back puzzled at the blue concoction.

I close my book, "I thought I had no input".

"Shut up and fix this" he snatched the book from my hands and threw it onto the desk, stepping out of the way to let me through.

I peaked in again, "Well it's blue" I noted.

"And?" he snapped.

"It's meant to be Black" I directed his attention to professor Snape's sample on the desk at the front of the room. It was a potion similar to that of Doxycide with a few adjustments made by the potions professor to throw us all off; clearly it was working on Draco.

He groaned and plopped down on the stool I once occupied. "This is stupid" he mumbled.

"Draco" I turned to him lovingly, his eyebrows rose in wonder, "Is there anything you don't find stupid?" I slapped his cheek softly and trotted pass him. It was clear he had forgotten to even include Doxy eggs in his shopping list at the beginning of the class, so I had to hunt them down from the remainder of the supplies.

By the time I returned Draco was glaring at the Potion, hoping somehow that that would fix the problem he had created. "Move" I pushed him aside and dropped the eggs into the blue liquid, which fizzled and sunk into a midnight black. "Someone's smarter" I teased.

"I hate you" he groaned in reply.

* * *

The sun broke through the barrier of dark clouds for the first time in what felt like weeks. I sat on the grass and watched Neville knee deep in lake water. He was quiet happy and I couldn't tell if it was my company or that he had helped Harry Potter in the second Tri wizard challenge, guess I'll never know.

"Is this boring?" he questioned, holding a rotten looking weed.

"Bored out of my brain" I sighed.

"Really?" he was panicked, fiddling with the plant in hopes of making it vanish.

I smiled, "I was being sarcastic" I exclaimed. "Because for the millionth time, this isn't boring" I liked being in Neville's presence, it was warm and exhilarating to know that he was mine, that I could hug him or kiss him whenever I wanted.

He allowed a toothy smile to consume his face, lighting up like the skies. I could tell it was the same for him, "cool" he laughed.

I turned my attention from him to the skies, trying to heat my golden curls in the sunlight, when a dark owl broke the blue scenery, a silver cuff attached to its ankle. My eyes widened, it was easy to distinguish Bellatrix owl 'Grimm', my blood rushed from my face and the pink hue that had gathered on my cheeks was replaced by a ghostly tone.

"Umm" I mumbled to Neville, springing to my feet.

"Are you ok?" he was going to get out of the lake, walk up to me.

I held my hands up to stop him, "Don't" I said before I could think of a reasonable excuse for my startled appearance. "I" pause "just need to go to the bathroom" lie, "I'll see you soon, I promise" hopefully that was the truth.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he pressed again, still on the verge of running out of the water to accompany me.

"100%" I smiled before slipping on my flats and walking briskly towards the castle, trying desperately to show no sign of heading to the Owlery because I knew Neville would be watching.

I hurried along the cobblestone path, my feet hurting since they were unaware that running would be an event today. A girl from ravenclaw passed me, stepping out of my way as though I would throw her to a certain death. Maybe that's what I looked like, a crazed psycho killer on a vengeance.

I took the steps two at a time, sometimes three if I felt brave enough to handle it, and by the time I reached the top, I was out of breath. Perhaps exercise should be a mandatory class here at Hogwarts, not just quidditch, I could use a forceful approach to getting fit.

The owlery was loud with screeching and feather flapping, so much commotion that one could lose their thoughts. I did not have this kind of luck as the bird I had come to greet landed in the middle of the room.

He was the largest Owl in the room, too big to truly fit on the podium where he perched, the chain on his leg could hold down a large dog and yet he wore it as though it was light as another feather. "Grimm" I nodded at him, greeting him like an old friend.

The bird cried and nipped his beak at me, as though responding to me like we were having a clear conversation.

The letter was squished between the cuff and his little leg. I leaned forward and carefully plucked it from him. Not afraid the bird would bite, but that the letter would. I peeled the paper away from the green stamp and unfolded the contents:

_Holly Bellatrix Malfoy, (How formal)_

_It is with my greatest sympathy that I inform you of the Dark Lords return._

_He will rise on the night of the last Tri Wizard Event. I will have someone collect you on the evening._

_Sincere Condolences My Child,_

_B L_

My heart sunk like an anchor had been tied to its arteries, drawing it down to my stomach. Once again, for the hundredth time, tears filled my eyes, begging the pain of realisation to be felt. This time I could not stop them, could not control them and turn them off. No. This time they poured and my voice broke from the realisation of it all, coming out in a loud cry that could muffle the owls around me.

I fell to the ground, collapsing in a heap of feathers and seed casing, the letter slipping from my hands.


	17. Chapter 17

***A/N: not an eventful chapter this one, but important nonetheless. Keep reading and writing in, still loving the feedback and hope to hear more!***

"Morning" I cheered towards Cane who trotted out of his bedroom with a certain hatred for early hours.

"Haven't you ever heard of sleep?" he questioned, coming over to my side to watch the pancake batter bubble against the pan.

"Still can't" I noted. It had been a week since arriving at Cane's and the first time I had stepped into a house of wizardry in a long time. The home nothing like the Malfoy manor, it was small for one thing, and dusty and cluttered, none of the things Lucius or Narcissa had allowed their residence to be. I flipped the pancake, "I'm making breakfast" speaking into the quiet kitchen. Cane had no doubt lived his life as a loner and having me here, in his home, must have been a tragic affair.

"I've never eaten so much breakfast in my life" he groaned, referring to the eggs, bacon, French toast etc. That I had forced down his throat since moving into his care.

"It's the most important meal of the day" I chirped, remembering for a moment that Draco's and my Nanny would repeat that to us when we refused to eat her cooking. Even after her chant, we couldn't stomach the dreadful cooking and had demanded a house elf retrieve us something eatable.

Cane groaned in reply as I placed a piping hot stack of pancakes in front of him, drizzling Maple syrup over them and letting it pool atop the plate. I took my two pancakes and sat across from him, the syrup arrangement nowhere near as fancy as the Deatheater's. He did not fight any further and began stuffing his mouth with the food.

"So" he said between bites. "It's been a few days" he spoke with his fork like a terrible ventriloquist act. I nodded in agreement, having learnt basic table manners as a child and eating whilst talking was a big no-no. "When are we going to talk about why you're here" he added.

I placed my fork down; "preferably never" my quirkiness had subsided.

"I just want to know why you volunteered in your brother's place" the Deatheater pressed.

"Because he is my brother" I added.

"That doesn't matter" Cane responded, "I killed my brother, quite brutally"

I flinched "That's lovely" I cut at my food with the side of the fork "but I actually like my brother"

He shrugged in noticeable agreement that our affection for our siblings were completely different. "It's just a big task" his voice had turned into a whisper. "To give your life in return for someone who will never know what you sacrificed".

I looked up at Cane in all his strength and dangerous features to see his soft hazel eyes, "Maybe one day he will know. Maybe one day I will be able to tell him, be it in person or in a letter or in a memory left to him. In the case I don't, I hope someone will"

* * *

The library was quieter then usual, all the students in class or huddled away in their houses in front of the fire. The rain poured, like it hadn't done in my time here at Hogwarts, and I sat against the window peering out over the grounds. From my post I could see Hogsmeade, at least the lights that flickered there, and I could see the Groundskeepers hut and other parts of the grounds and wondered what it would be like to have no worries of the future, to not have a time limit, counting down on my head.

"Miss Malfoy" I turned to see a ghost hovering beside me, one I had not met. He was a young man, in his early twenties, who had died when something penetrated his heart, easily seen by the hole in his place.

"Yes?" I couldn't help but gawk at the gape in his chest.

"The Headmaster wishes to speak with you" he leaned in to tell me this and with a nod, he left, leaving me with that small message.

I took one last look out the window and stood up, unwilling to keep Professor Dumbledore waiting.

* * *

The spiral staircase climbed, taking me to the top and to the door of the headmaster's office. I raised my hand, curling it into a fist, and knocking softly against the timber.

"Enter" a voice called.

I didn't want to follow his commands; though I twisted the doorknob and walked into the office. It was warm, like it had been on the grass the other day, watching Neville. It was light and felt inviting, unlike it had on my first day at Hogwarts with the pacing, infuriated, Snape.

"You wanted to see me Professor?" I questioned and it came out as a whisper, a broken whisper.

"Ah, Holly" he stood from his chair at my arrival, clearly remembering my former dislike for the Malfoy name. Then he began walking towards me, in all the glory that was Dumbledore, intimidating yet humbly so.

"Professor" I nodded, my voice still so weak and childlike.

"Please won't you sit?" he pointed to a large chair, almost a throne in comparison to most chairs, beside a phoenix whose flames where bright.

Without a word I started my way to the birds side, capturing some of the heat that radiated from him.

"I have words from a few of your teachers that you have missed classes" he slowly lowered himself into the seat across from me, his long grey beard capturing for a moment on his robe. "And that your grades have dropped considerably over the last few weeks"

I couldn't help but wonder if Snape was one of the ones expressing the concern for my wellbeing, surely not. I couldn't answer the Headmaster, I just shrunk a little more, becoming a miniscule version of myself.

"Is there anything you wish to share?" he seemed concerned, "any thoughts that are weighing you down?" he pressed.

"In all honesty headmaster" I began, "Nothing can be done about my problems. They are what they are and there is nothing that can be done to fix them or prevent them. At least nothing that is within mine, or your own, control" I finished the speech with a hint of acid in my tone. I was letting the situation that was unfolding, get the better of me, and I disliked my attitude that was revealing itself.

"Well" he laced his fingers together. "If you feel the urge to talk" his eyes bore into my soul, like they were trying to uncover my darkest secrets. "My office is always open".

"Thank you professor" I stood from my chair, allowing a soft creak to sound from the wood, relieved to be finished with the stress of my weight.

As I began to leave, I realised I had a question, one I hadn't realised was waiting for the moment to spring from my mouth. "Professor" I began. He raised his eyebrows to show me he could hear me and that he was paying attention. "Might I ask the Sorting hat something?"

"But of course" he looked up at a shelf where the hat shook off its slumber.

"Yes?" it was grumpy for an item of clothing.

"If you had chosen, with none of my input" I added, "What house would I have been placed into?"

There was silence as the hat began to think back, re-reading my head from its memories. "Gryffindor" he said. "Because your Bravery outweighs all of your other traits" he noted this like he knew. Like he knew everything there was to know about Bellatrix, my family, the dark lord and my death and everything else.

"Is that the answer you where looking for Holly?" Dumbledore asked with great curiosity.

I thought of Draco smiling at me, my father handing me the Malfoy pendant, my mother holding me and I knew my answer. "Let's just say I'm fine with you calling me Miss Malfoy" my face cracked a smile, the muscles of my face unfamiliar with such movement over the past few weeks.


	18. Chapter 18

"To what do I owe this pleasure" Snape had his eyes firmly on a bubbling potion as I stepped into the room. I didn't have potions and with the empty seating arrangement, it was easy to see that no one did.

"I was hoping to talk with you" I noted, my voice coming off very small.

"You are" Snape was and will forever be the master of grumpiness. I turned and closed the heavy door, not wanting our conversation to become public. Snape groaned, realising that I was serious about talking to him, he twisted on the spot and watched me walk towards him, before plopping myself atop a desk and dropping my heavy bag to the floor. "What?" he questioned.

"Let's not beat around the bush" I held out the letter Bellatrix had sent me for the Professor to grab. He skimmed through it quickly and then eyed me with a seemingly different view.

"What does this mean?" he held the parchment in the air.

I cleared my throat, "I'm a sacrifice" I shrugged, tired of crying over it and feeling sorry for myself, the words came out with a brief confidence.

Snapes eyes widened and the potions master seemed a paler take of himself, "So why are you here?" curiosity got the best of him.

"I was foolish" I began, "I knew that I would be a sacrifice since the year started and I allowed people to get close to me, and allowed myself to get close to others" I looked down at my hands clasped in a tight ball on my lap. "I should have just stayed away from people like I planned to, but..." I trailed off thinking of Neville and the love I felt for him. "Let's just say, I got too attached. The last Tri Wizard Tournament is in two days and I don't want to spend them learning a new spell" I was interrupted by the confused man.

"So?" he said bluntly.

"I need you to make them forget" I finally said. Funny how saying simple words can relieve you of a burden, my body felt free.

"That would be impossible" Snape began to pace around his cauldron, the paper still in his hand.

I bit my lip, "How so?" I pressed.

"In case you haven't noticed there is a great number of Witch's and Wizards at Hogwarts and not just from this school" he was angry. "Say I erase Malfoy's memory. Who is to say a Slytherin does not bring up your name somewhere in the future after your disappearance? Despite what you may believe, your attendance to this school has made an impact on a number of people and someone who might not even be on your list" he stopped for a moment, and then continued like a lawyer before a judge. "Erasing the memory of the entire school and its visitors would be impossible and foolish. There are greater wizards among the faculty who would come to realise that they have had their minds manipulated" he stopped to peer at me with that rage.

"Fine" I huffed, "then make Neville forget" that broke my heart to say, I could almost feel it shatter like glass in my chest.

Snape for once allowed compassion to envelop his body "I could only make him forget his love for you, not you as a person, but for how long is a mystery, someone will remind him of you, eventually".

"That is all I want" I smiled, trying to convince the Professor. I hopped of the table and grabbed my bag, walking over to him to retrieve the letter.

"Tomorrow will be your last day" he took a breath as the parchment hit my palm, "with him".

* * *

My lips pressed against Neville's in a delicate manner. I had intended to kiss him passionately but instead, this is what my body wanted. Maybe, what my body needed.

I pulled away from him and allowed my head to fall softly into his lap, my hair sprawled out over his pants to reach for the grass. He ran the palm of his hand over my forehead, brushing my curls from my face.

The sun was warm, the breeze almost icy and I wondered what it might be like to die in a warmer season, one where the sun beamed bright enough to eliminate all other elements that the world might throw at me. Would I die easier? Or would it be a harder death to endure?

I had to shake the thoughts from my head, I only had today with Neville and tomorrow I would spend with Draco. My brother was the last person I wanted to be with because that would be a harder goodbye than any other and I wanted the time to cherish with him.

I smile at Neville and he returns the gesture. "I can't believe the year is almost over" he spoke softly, still brushing my hair with his fingers. It was nice to be the receiver of his affections.

"Yeah" I whispered softly, he was unintentionally making it hard for me break away from my grim thoughts.

"Did you finish the potions assignment?" he quizzed. "I've had so much trouble with that, it's ridiculous" I could feel his body tense under my head and I knew he wasn't lying, he was genuinely having trouble.

"It is difficult" I turned my eyes towards the black lake, remembering him knee deep in water, fishing for plants.

"So did you finish it? I think I still have a few lines to go over" he continued.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, "yep all done" I lied. With only two days left of my life, the last thing I wanted was to do homework.

He stopped stroking my hair, "you haven't finished" he accused me, looking down at me with concern.

I sat up; my hair staying away from my face as though I had gone through a large wind tunnel and my curls had suffered the brute. "I've got it covered" I shrugged, taking my hand and separating my hair to make it look as normal as possible.

"What does that mean?" he pressed further.

I didn't want to talk about it; the fact was I hadn't even glazed over the assignment once. "It means I've got it covered" my tone had risen and it was unclear to me how or why I let it.

Neville looked at me with eyes more overrun by concern than any other emotion, "Did you get someone else to do it for you?" he asked gently.

My head whipped into his direction, "Is that what you think of me?" I let that unknown anger overtake me. "That I would stoop to that level?" I questioned.

"I just wanted to know" he seemed to back away from me with caution, like I was a dragon from the first tri-wizard challenge.

He had turned his eyes away from me, "because I'm in Slytherin? Or because I'm a Malfoy?" I watched as he avoided my gaze. "Or because I'm both?"

"That's not what I meant" he said firmly, though he did not look at me and show me that it was a misunderstanding.

I stood up and looked down at him. "I didn't do the assignment because I'm not going to be here to hand it in" I couldn't control the words leaving my mouth, but I came to realise that I didn't want to vanish without a trace. Neville deserved more than that.

He finally looked at me, his eyes glazed; withholding tears. "What do you mean?" he was the one to start asking questions, taking my place.

"I'm leaving" I muttered. Neville stood quickly, coming to tower over me.

"You can't be serious" he raised his hand to grab my arm, not with anger or strength, but as though I might float away from him right here.

I still could not cry, having burnt out every tear that my body may have ever had. "I'm going back to Beauxbatons" I paused, lying once again. "I had better grades there and my family just wants me to excel" where I pulled these fibs from was beyond me. Years of being related to Draco Malfoy was paying off.

This time he grabbed my other arm, holding me like I was delicate glass that may shatter from a single breeze, "No" he begged. In this tale I was simply moving, imagine if I had told him of my demise, how shattered he would be then.

"I didn't want to tell you" I went on, "I wanted to wait".

"I'm sorry" I wondered who he was saying this to, me or himself.

I pressed my lips to his once again, "Don't say goodbye just yet". We had the day before Snape would cast the spell, the rest of the day to pretend there was a tomorrow.

* * *

**Authors Note: Hey guys, so as you might be able to tell this story is nearly at the end and I would love to do another. Whilst I do my own character as a lead, I would love your input on who you want as a love interest from the main cast, so.. Let me know if you have any requests or ideas :)**


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